kya kare.. majboor hai ...

There are times when you want to do more… so you strive for it!!

and then there are times when you want to do more and you crib about it!!

 and then there are times when you want to do more and you do nothing about it!!

Days come and days go… and then one day we realized.. you like to live your life during nights and not days… this happened to me not long back.. but the trauma caused more trouble than I could imagine..

So I lived my life the way I wanted… and do things you own way… in the process i ended up upsetting a few individuals and the biggest damage take was by myself…

People get pissed off because they have a lot of expectations out of you… rather they think that you are nothing but a puppet who should be in their life to entertain them …

this phenomenon gets much more applicable in marriages… you have seen a lot of movies and now you are confident that you are the hero.. and the wife is the heroine…  you expect a lot from each other but when the left hand side does not match the right hand side (LHS not equal to RHS)… you start thinking … bhenchod!! .. kya dimmage chat gayi zindagy…

but then if you get a free cookie at night… you are back to square one… pop a beer and celebrate the festival…

many a times you think since the packaging is brilliant.. the toy inside will be fun to play with.. . you like the packaging… for example a G.I. Joe.. and you put that in the hands of your offspring… little to realize whether  he really like the toy or not… if he really wants to play with it or not… but since you expect him to play with it you force him… and since the young one is always been brought up that way… he starts playing with the toy.. there is no issue.. the child really don’t have the brain to comprehend the loss and parents are happy… they feel victorious… in a way its like… all is well that ends well..

sometimes this ends up being true even for your life partner… and life to follow..

shadi kyun kiya??

Baap ne bola isliye..

Ladki??

Woh to thee naa.. chacha ne dhundi thee..

Chacha ne?? :o

Haan unki her decision papa ke liye phaydemand rahi hai..

Aur aapke liye..

Kya?? mere kiye kya??

Khair chodiye..  bachhey kyun kiye.. ??

pata nahi.. bus ho gaye.. kisi ne bataya nahi tha.. bacchey bhi ho sakte hai…

abhi kya??

pata nahi.. lekin ek baat hai.. mein mere bachhey ko engineer banaunga..

wah wah.. aap engineer .. aapka beta engineer..

haan mere papa bhi engineer hai :D

admission ka kya??

IIT hai naa… who IIT jayega.

Lekin iit to bada tough hai...

Koi baat nahi.. jab who 18 baras ja ho jayega.. tab tak govt kam se kam do sou IIT bana chuki hogi..

 waise aapka bete ko engineering pasand hai..??

nahi nahi… abhi to woh paanch saal ka hai..

aur aapne use engineer banana ka decision final kar diya??

Who kya hai.. ki misses bhi wahi chahti hai..

Oh really??

Usmein kya hai.. simple hai.. 10^th aur 12^th mein use acchey number lane hai.. fir ek chhotisy entrance exam. .. then 4 saal mein engineering…

Jitna aap bata rahe hai.. kya who utna aasan hai??

Bilkul..hamne bhi waise hi kiya tha.. 

Fir to aapki shadi bhi aise hi gayi hogi..

Haan haan bilkul..

Aur bacchey..?? (surprised)

Who bhi aise hi… bole to… raat ko mehnat jo karte the…lekin kisi ne bataya nahi bachhey bhi honge.. L

Things go on like this in many corners... and many a times they just happen… sometimes few strive for it.. . others don’t… sometimes they crib about it… others don’t… sometimes few do nothing about it… while others BLOG!!

Proud to blog!! (though actually no one actually reads it..)

raKH05041982

butterNan
raKH05041982

awesome awful

it was awesome to see her after a long time.. But cudnt help avoiding the #beingasshole syndrome. #getagrip #lifeisameltingicecube #timewarp

its awesome to be listening to my fav songs from gun n roses..

its awful.. old monk i over.. ill have to try the white rum now...

its awesome .. dhungach bend pan footale...

its awesome.. i bought chips.. as chaknaa

its awesome i had a working holiday yesterday...

its awful that ill have to go to work tomorrow.... 

its was good day.. in the end.. and a good night is to begin...

yup .. even the last post was dedicated to them...

raKH05041982

pussy cats

its funny how few people just want the best of you.. i am not talking about bosses or parent...
i am talking about people who are nothing to you but everything...

you are on a sinusoidal path..
during crest when everything is perfect.. she smiles back at you..to you it makes her the most beautiful person in the world...
during trough when the times are not in your favor.. you only wish that you could do something for her to smile at you... so that she could absolutely not avoid you....

cats love milk.. men love milk.. but both want it to be served in a different style..
cats will drink milk with eyes closed.. men will drink milk with eyes wide open...
cats will not complain if the milk is cold.. men will not complain as long the milk is served in natural cups..
cats don't need sugar in milk.. no chocolate drink.. men don't have this option...
cats will drink the milk and fuck off.. and men will linger on...

mood is a funny thing.. but moody people are definitely not funny... specially if the world of the moody person revolves around self importance.. self pity

when you are nor the only one who mistreats them..life can really be misleading.

so when life gets tough.. all you can do is get tougher.. milk help you get tough..

have you ever seen a cat work so hard for milk??

raKH05041982

kaizeen...

how do i put it...
swabhavala aushadh nasate!!
there is no medicine for a mans - Intrinsic nature, self-being or own being

i seek attention and all i get is a cold shoulder.. this is not for the first time this is happening.. i am used to this.. but this time its a uncontrollable..

they say as you get old.. you need to get less and less involved with life..

ok!! i am trying real hard to avoid.. but when it comes to women.. i like my weak spots...

enjoy till it lasts... and on the way there learn to make it last as long as you can ...

hey bhagwan.. she is beautiful!! she put life in black and truth in white...
not my fault.. i am still sober and straight....absolutely sober and inane

raKH05041982

god is an astronaut

getting high is easy.. staying high is tricky.. and a bummer is never an option.
when you mixandmatch you need to go slow.. any which ways i am slow.. all of it makes me more slow...

slow mind floats well on important issues which otherwise elude you..music.. beauty .. peace .. women... and TIME are few topics which needs a slow mind..

listening to god is an astronaut makes my mind slow..i don't know for how long.. but i am sure for a very long time i was waiting for an band who makes me feel slow.. and thanks to amarnath..who is digging for some really amazing bands in the US... agar usne mooh nahi khola hota to shayad hi koi mujhey is band ke bare mein batata...

this trip is beautiful.. i liked the trip the mind enjoyed while listening to porcupine tree but.. it could never get me.. in total there are 5 albums and i dont know .. how to rank them.. or which 1 to recommend... all are good... zodiac is different...

but if i have to make some1 listen to giaa.. then it has to be  SUICIDE BY A STAR

and chup chap batti band karke.. relaxed mode mein aankh band karke... poora attention deke sunane kaa...

very few things in our life can tune us... and these things change from time to time.. you don't know how.. but they tune you.. and sometimes in the process .. a lot of you is destroyed.. and then a lot of new is built too.. and this continues as long as there is meaning in your life.. once the meaning is lost.. nothing remains in tune and you crumble due to gravity depending upon how much your life sucks.... lesser the better....

she destroys me and i build myself over and over again.. as of now.. no one will back out.. its going strong...havovi says she is a beef i can never taste.. i know it.. but there is no other beef i want.. i aint no hungry.. i am just stuck....

i need my daily dose of reality... and i need it daily... warna mein aasman mein chala jaata hoon.. aur jab zindagy dhakka maar ke tapka deti hai to .. zindagy khajoor ban jaati hai...

yeh saal pata nahi .. kya kya naye gul khilayega... leking accha music sunana is on top agenda..!!

raKH05041982

oldmonk week

its fun how alcohol helps you rediscover yourself every time..

this first time i am all happy boss is not going to be in office for 3 days.. decided to rush home.. drink a celebration peg.. and watch one piece on the way back.. instead of cursing innocent ppl stuck in traffic...
solid chutiyapa.. psp mein battery nahi and bottle mein oldmonk nahi... fir sirf chips khaya and khaj khuja ke batti bhujaya..

this 2nd last time i was with Mr. kool dude # 1 - i am so fat that my mamma would mistake me for a dumpling :P........ i drank half a bottle of oldmonk and i was normal.. i enjoyed... i ate good good.. zero hangover..
this last time i sat with Mr. kool dude # 2 - he is actually kool and his mama knows it... i drank almost half a bottle...but i was so tired when i reached home that i forgot to eat eat.. i just crashed.. and next day i had a miserable time.. i still dont understand how i sent those sms to her and made a beeg fucking chut out of me...

both the days i was thinking about the same things i generally think when i am with old monk... why does alcohol have to be a killer.. but come to think of it it.. if life is killer too.. life does not allow you to live forever.. so lets make life simpler.. blame life.. blame alcohol and feel good about life and alcohol..

last few weeks have been a little weird .. kolaveri happend to me like no other song has gripped me in a very long time.. its fun to see how these ppl with resources and lot of exposure end up making kool things...  shruti, dhanush, aishwarya made the world go mad... with the help of aniruddh.. a guy who will now be confused how to continue making good music... much more than that unfortunately even if he makes shitty music ppl will still end up rooting for him.. thats how india has been for the last 3000 years

pawar got slapped and for the first time a common maharashtrian understood how difficulty it must be to carry a heavy loaded head over your shoulders.. pawar almost fell and the poor sardaar actually got a gand phatti meri feeling but he sailed through it well.. as he is a sardar in the end.. he has to lead with example .. good or bad...

anna was sarcastic.. he said ek hi?? it was a true rotflol moment...

also last week boss was not in office for a long long time.. approximately 3 days.. so WTF was chilled out.. !!

though he tried to rape my mental inner peace over the phone.. i was actually staring at a busty babe on the streets of sector 17 ...imagining the stress the elastic was under.. woh aam nahi kharbooja the...

mein to kabhi utna stress mein nahi raha hoon.. so i should be smiling... even if boss i yelling....

aaj Dev ws all pumped up to drink this friday night out.. poora khamba leke pooja kar raha hai.. leking kal exhibition mein gand marana hai.. and ho sake to BB bhi khelna hai... lets see.. abhi mikhail ka daru phone kall bhi nahi aaya abhi tak..

kya hoga next.. bhenchod.. if u are still reading this.. u must be fuckin fucked and lost your mind..

this is not what it seems...


raKH05041982

mistake can keep you busy...

i am turning out to be such an asshole..

i am making same mistakes for the last 10 years..

its as if i am fucking addicted to making mistakes...

and i make them at random interval...

but a little humor is always good....

raKH05041982

dream come true....

yeah yeah... delhi it will be...

metallica it will be...

and sleeper class travel it will be!!!

raKH05041982

tired as hell and bored to death...

ok.. i had quit alcohol .. i mean i have quit alcohol.. but my will is not strong...
i want to party only on few pre selected days... the days when i know i am going to get sloshed.. get wasted...
but parties dont happen planned..

lots of beer wine and good food followed by some good grass...

grass is always green when the friend pays for it.. .:D

so a little bit of grass happened... and that leaded to more beer and more good food..

and no time to rest... so now tired as hell and bored to death..

and kaizeen continues to play a havoc in my head.. oh.. she is looking like a angel today..

raKH05041982

is it ever too late..??

sometimes you don't understand the hidden msg behind curtains...

but later when you realize it.. u want to listen to these 2 songs again and again...

the first 1 comes a couple of days after valentines day.. u dream of a girl.. for years.. meet her.. and then like a chutiya dont check your inbox... which has a very romantic song waiting to fall on your ears.. ..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHQG6-DojVw

so like a fucked up retard you let time spoil your khichadi.. that u intend to kook...

time flies.. and tides turn.. the girl whom you think you love from the hidden bottom of your heart falls in love with a guy much smarter than you.. but she knows ... she cant break 2 hearts at a time ... so she breaks the one thats on the distant horizon.. which will mend faster than a young child getting amused over a fucking filthy lollipop ... and times does heal it better ...

she send yet another song which says something that i have still have not deciphered.. and i am happy that my fucking dumb brain is happy that she is happy to be happy... i am a dream in the end.. that dreams of happy me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHQG6-DojVw

butterNan.. i am sorry more than you are.. i was being an asshole..i know u dont follow my blog ..so i can abuse myself bindhast.... you are a beautiful person .. but i am super kickass too...





raKH05041982

sly.. shrewd.. though innocent

definitely not about god....

human mind .. why cant it all think alike... or should the statement be.. thank god!!... not all think alike..

all others animals have mind too.. but the difference is.. they almost think alike.. they want to eat .. fuck only to keep the race alive and die.. humans do a lot more than this...though originally they were designed to do these 3 simple tasks..

but human mind had a different plan.. 1 of the mind made Buddha.. the other made Hitler.. and so on..

complications didn't end here.. human mind evolved further into his and her.. at this time my mind clearly says not to get into anything complicated...

weird it is ...how the same mind things differently at different situations and under different influence ...
alcohol makes the strongest muthfukr emotional... and cocaine makes every chutiya a tarzen...
been watching a lot of intense shit on TV.. 1 old man creates history.. so other 2 bastards want to replicate the old man .. the 1st asshole fools a whole nation .. wants to go on 2nd rath yatra... while the 2nd asshole thinks 3 days of fast will wash away 3 weeks of bloodbath..

all this aside.. my own mind is having a tough time coping up with difference it is having with itself..  the funny part of the mind is not active .. but the cynic is alive and kicking ... its clear.. the mind is not free .. it is engulfed in some hate love relationship with external forces that are beginning to control the controls..

every now and then i try ..i try real hard but i don't try long enough.. you cant say i give up.. i give in...

iska kisine kya beegada thaa.. jo iske beena jeena adhura hai :)

raKH05041982

aasman se tapko.. khajoor pe latko..

a

 a man sleeping peacefully - a sign of successful story .. someday.. absolutely someday... Insha'Allah!!

time... yet again the most important resource of our life... ppl say money is more important.. but they are wrong.. it is indeed time that is the most important... i know a lot of rich bastards who have all the money in the world to enjoy life...but no time... but i also know a lot of ppl who have all the time in the world to enjoy and do so even with very little money at hand....

now the thing that is irritating me is how i best utilize my time.. there was a time.. when i spent a lot of time ..usually early and late in the night chatting and posting mindfucked useless posts expecting a lot of likes on facebook... at the end of it i slept late..got up late... and as a result traveled for  extra hours during peak hours.. for a distance that can be covered in less thatn 45mins.. i spend close to 1 hour 45 mins....

now that i have told every1 that FBI deleted my facebook profile and i have actually stopped spending time on facebook... and eventually this has resulted into less time chatting... i have absolutely nothing to do... early late night... so sleep happens early.. getting up happes early.. i avoid traffic and reach office avoiding traffic within an hour...

when i come to office there is absolutely no 1.. so i can sit and surf.. have a T without any1 irritating me...

i am not saying this that now that i am spending an extra additional hour at office (obviously i am not working at this hour).. that my life has all of a sudden got a new meaning... buts its just that ...
mujhey aisa lag raha hai... mein aasman se tapkaa hoon and khajoor pe latkaa hoon...

a time to again mention a song that i really like...

zindagi khwaab hai, khwaab men, jhooth hai kya
aur bhala sach hai kya
sab sach hai
zindagi khwaab hai.......

dil ne ham se jo kaha, ham ne vaisa hi kiya \- 2
phir kabhi furasat se sochenge, bura tha ya bhala
zindagi khwaab hai...........
taken from JAGTE RAHO - 1956 and amazingly sung by MUKESH

raKH05041982

war trouble in the head :(

i still have not figured out to a way to be happy.. the harder i try to run away from reality.. the faster i sink in a sea of sadness :(

i am not sure why this is happening to me... there are so many ppl with more trouble in life.. but yet a smile exists on their face... life is not unfair enough to end it..but life is not fair enough too live it too...

there is a fucking war going down in Libya..   as of now i just want to thank god that i am not there ...
its much better down here in navi mumbai.... i get to go to a lounge later tonight and watch the man u Vs. Chelsea match with a cold glass of sprite... alcohol is out of the question as i am still recovering from a deadly bacterial infection....

i guess i just need to keep the mind occupied and focus on good things in life...

raKH05041982

light at the end of the tunnel...

....


the world is a cruel place to live in....
every time you are about to give up...
u c a light at the end of the tunnel...
god is sitting at the other end smoking a joint..
and all u smell is hope...
you reach out to him ...only to find out ...
saale ne akele akele poora joint foonk diya!! ;)


sometimes crazy thoughts make sense!! 


raKH05041982

dreams....

i had a yet another fucked 2 crazy dreams...i guess i dont remember 100% of the dream but they were something like this....

the first was about a worm that i found was living in my left ear.. he had a castle made out of wax and had a lot of food supplies which included dry fruits...he thought that i harbored him as a pet.. i think he was invading my private property... bloody invader kahin kaa!!

and the other was the 1 in which my jaw fell apart (no blood - blood would have killed my dream) and i am holding it back my hand trying to convince some women.. i am not wrong..it was not my fault... but still i am sorry... (since then i am a cynic...)

but somehow life is still beautiful..
:p

i guess i need to start meditating..exercise... drive all the evil away and control alcohol ..(but somehow oldMONK will be spared)

agar zindagy mein naa dikhawa hota...
aur mout ek khwaab hota.. 
to afsos dharti per hi narak hota
chahe charo aur khuda kyun naa hota..

raKH05041982

life ...

u meet d most interesting ppl in the least expected way at the most un-thought of place.. But only at d right time.. Life is then beautiful.. Go out there.. Explore.. Cherish and enjoy it!!

i met a bastard cop.. i met irritating constipating fellow travelers on the train...i met a poor riksha puller who was very happy to take the mango drink as baksheesh ... i met an amazing old but new friend... i met a gay who is smarter and sane than most of us straight men...i met a girl who is mad about my amazing old but new friend.... i met yet another old friend...i met my crazy friend who still forgives me for being mean to him and pull a prank on him at every opportunity... i met a happy Nepali guy who was happy to travel with his folks to a temple in his youth... i met a stranger who became my good friend...i met 2 american pot heads who were madly in love with INDIA.... i met a business man who showed more faith in me than my fellow passengers on rajdhani...i met poor street vendors who had a bigger smile on their face than rich shop keepers.. i met a monk with strange insane sense of humor who kept my bottle of rum in safe custody till i took a look at his temple and his god... i met a schizophrenic women who looked gorgeous even at her old age...i met and old schoolmate with her husband and her beautiful daughter... i met and amazing baker.. i met a autowalah who charged me by the meter in Delhi knowing the fact that i am a tired tourist with a big haversack ...i met a guy who didn't utter a single word through out his 16 hour journey on train....

i met a different part of me which i didn't know existed...

i met peace.. i met nature.. i met a FRIEND...i met LOVE.. i almost met GOD!!!!!!

thank you Mcleod Ganj... thank you Dharamkot.. !!

raKH05041982

something...of a dream

some dreams are so real that you don't ever want to wake up... they are so real that u never know when they get over...

i mean the day you remember the end of your dream.. the dream is not real.. coz your sub-conscious mind is too strong... it has complete control over what you wish to dream

yesterdays dream was a fantasy ...just don't remember how it ended...but the end must have made me proud... seemed so real that for the first time my conscious and  sub-conscious were at sync.... she must have been the real goddess in my dream and i must have been her worshiper ...

there was no influence of alcohol.. just the peaceful sleep i had wish for...there was no wish of dreaming about her... but it happened ultimate randomly that why its very important...


PS: just a random thought

something tells me.. i am tired... tired of something... i guess ill stop doing something and start doing something... i hope i find something interesting .. and that something keeps me ALIVE!!


raKH05041982

blind!! only the blind dream!!

when u are in love...life is really has a different meaning...all together...
i mean i always thought ... i am normal...but now i know i am special... like they call the spastic ppl...special !!!

she troubles me... i am so scared to look into her eyes.. if she is smart...she will read through my eyes... and i will have no answer ..only a lot of love to offer her.....

she makes my knees weak... she drives me nuts... and she kills me again and again only to bring me back to life with a lot more love... every time!!

all of my love...all of my love.... all of my love....!!

only the blind dream!!


raKH05041982

life and wise men... and directionless thought !!

the faster you run away from it.. the more frustrating it gets...and if you get closer ..you want to run away from it.. LIFE!!


when the wise men say... life is the best teacher.. it sounds funny... but when you experience it first hand..u want to kill the wise man.... may be if he didn't tell you the truth about life... you would have never figured it out :D


a phraand (Kshitij Chawla) recently posted a very nice comment on Facebook.. (if i had to mess with his name i wud say... shit is chawla :-/ ... but he is a good phraand whom i have not met...so many if he read this...and may be if we meet...he slap me )


Zindagi majboori hai. Conceive huye majboor thhey, paida huye majboor thhey. Majbori thi toh school chaley gaye, ladki patana biological majboori ban gaya. Ab majboori mein khana banana seekh rahe hain...


lucky bastard i must say... khana banana ek super duper timepass hai... it helps you forget about life... especially if you are cooking non-veg...


Luhar Sinsahk daru peena bhi majboori hai... jindagy sab seekha deti hai....


Parag Misra zindagi majboori hai...but kya kare khelna bhi zaroori hai aur pelna bhi...


so confusing... so frustrating... cant understand i am happy or sad ... dont understand if this was supposed to be a happy post...a sad post...or funny 1... or sarcastic 1... 


there is random music playing and its controlling my  4 sense.... the fifth 1 is controlling the 6th sense....


SP... where the fuck have you disappeared?? 

PS: not drunk...not high...not sober.. not hungry... not bored...not entertained.. not tired.. not handicapped... just misplaced in time.. and thoughts :)
raKH05041982

fuck me up!!

its so easy to fuck with me...and my mind... and put me in a downward spiral... its just not funny..

but the best part is....i am a goldfish...  my memory is like a goldfish... i go to sleep...and i forget everything...

and then some sweet motherfucker will fuck my brains out...completely... !!
and then i solve the issue with a nice 8 hour sleep!!


dude...u must have been kidding...but it fucked my mind completely... i hope u were kidding!! its really not what i wanted to hear at this moment of time...may be after a few more days...

raKH05041982

oh she looked so beautiful today!!!!

saw her exactly after a week....and i couldn't help my self more...all i did was stare at her... a couple of times and thanked GOD for the moment!!

OH!! she looked so beautiful today!!!

when she leaves her hair open...i want to be the breez...that play with her long black hair..  and when she is tensed i want to be the joke ... who will put a smile on her face... 


sala samay thamtaa bhi nahi hai... ooske saamne!!


raKH05041982