life is a fruit-salad :)

before u read anything further... remember this.. this is coming out of personal experience (".)

when u get drunk... please dont brush ur teeth with shaving cream . . . its no fun....in fact just go to sleep... its OK if u dont brush ur teeth before bed.....

metrosexuals (mtsxl) .... i am not one of them...i think .. i think ... i think..i am a hippie... at least i was one till i didn’t take up this job....now the hippie looks are gone.... I am still letting the hippie live inside me… just in case I need him during the WWIII … now this is what happens in today’s world.... we all have jobs...we all get up in the morning... some have trouble downloading...some don’t... i for that matter have no worries at all.... I just have to sit on the commode ...and not do anything... the bowels just want to get hell out of me... as if they are suffocating inside..... thank you thank you...my smaller intestine....then we go to work....some take the car...some take public transport... some actaully work...or some pretend to work....some come straight back to home to their wife and kids... while some take the patlee galli and head to pubs, bars, lounges ...or wherever life takes them...some have a good day...some have bad day.....some care...some dont.... some are comfotably NUMB...some are comfortably DUMB...

Ok...this is not what this post is about..

Coming to the original idea of the post….he he…there is no idea…

so there is this imaginary dude human being...no no.... he is not doing his MBA... for heavens sake... not all are fools... I don’t know if he is a metrosexuals (mtsxl)….

so he gets up in the morning... brushes his teeth ....the flavor is strawberry... yup ..he still likes to use the toothpaste... which he used when he was a kid....rinses his mouth....( i want to try that toothpaste... all my life i have used that white and red "khol-gate" ... white paste.. yeah.. u are right....i do have cavities...unlike what the adv promises.... and that mofo suraksha chakra.... and that ting noise .... is nothing compared to the drilling noise of the dentists drills....dentists... u ppl are life-savers )

so now...after brushing his teeth.... dude is late....so heads straight under the shower.... so... nunga-punga bath chalu... raat ko aamla ka tel se chumpi kiya hai ( wah-tikka tel. . .reminds me of lovely mandira bedi… extraaa shots :P ) ….to sabse pehle fructis ( I am sure this shampoo can be used as a nice topping cream in most of the European dishes )_ ...man this shampoo is nice... try it... smells like a lot of fruits are crushed in it.... then saboon lagane ke bari... saboon is also fruit flavored ...one of those Chinese soaps with apple flavor ( lol chinese soaps...they are gonna take over....and amreeka is gonna feed them )…. Nahake ho gaya….shave karne ki baari ( its one of the most irritating activity for hippies… but thank god…he only gave us the brains to shave of dadhi… )… shaving cream lemon flavoured + aloe vera ( they say this aloe vera thing is miraculous )…. Aftershave is bloody pomegranate flavored + with added menthol … combs his hair… styling gel…coconut flavored…. (rotflol coconut )

lol…. He is turning into a fruit salad ….( sala i actually made that word rangeela... ha ha ha....i have so much free time.. and no money in the pocket to go have a beer.... )

Now time to put of some deodorant… again fruit flavored… watermelon :P

All dressed up…. Drinks milk… has some jelly… he loves jelly… almost close to being a complete fruit salad… ( who the hell invented the fruit salad ? .. .must be an accident.. .where the wife has got angry and gone to maikaaa ... and the hubby ...pooor hubby has to cook for himself )

God damn it…. Brain super heating…. Fuck fuck fuck…. Fruit-salad…. I miss it….I WANT FRUIT SALAD

All those vitamins ….. all those fibers….. all those …

Just fuck it… I am going to FETCH some food…. Living in dog years ;)

PS : “to life..”…. It rained in MUMBAI today… thanks to u... life… I missed it…though I had a nice sunbath here in Chennai… sunscreens don’t work here…

raKH05041982

baBa's XP-rence and life in a big metropolitan village called chennai in INDIA

PS : discard this blog if u are having improper bowel movements.....this blog will not help you... may be try jamalGOTA or kayam chooran


lots of things that we mumbaikars mite find irritating...in this city who is fast aping to be like mumbai....

the most important thing... its a hot city...as in the chicks are not really hot...but the weather is.... so u can wear a lungi... but its completely allright to not wear anything inside the lungi...( just dont get drunk and loose ur lungi)

not so good things
ppl go to sleep by 10 pm
hotels don't take orders after 10 30 pm
railway stations are empty after 10 30 pm
buses are dead crowded
ppl can pee where ever they like..... ( u can even pee right opposite to the famous temples with ur back facing to women.. )
no descent wine shops
very few bars
loads of tamil telgu malayalam and kannada tv channels....very few hindi...u ll be surprised to when u are stayin in some hotel....
no directions on the road...but loads of glowsigns asking u to wear helmates and not use cell phone while driving....
language is like jeelebies....
even the north indians who have settles here for ages prefer to speak in tamil... :(
local muslims might not know urdu....but they speak fluent tamil
lots of one ways....u dont understand how to reach a destination.....
no roads bigger then 100feet
lots of lungis indicating the temperature of the city... higher the lungi....higher is the temperature...
no meter in autos ( minimum fare for a person not knowing tamil is Rs 50 )
very strict police.. no helmet....u are dead meet.... riding bike after midnight.... naka bandi every hwere.... (kahan se aaya ...kahan jaa raha hai....sab batana padta ahi.... movies se aa raha hoon bataya to ...proof ke liye movie tickets is a must )
local water sucks..... its hard as a desperat cock....(eeks....a dirty comparison)... metro water is just getting popular...
no rotis, no chapatis ... only in very expensive restaurants... in descent hotels 2 rotis for 25 bucks ) but u phackin dont get choice of vegetables... they serve something called KURMA..u better eat those funny chapatis with that kurma....
police here look like the RAWAN from ramayana...big phaaacking big moushtaches ...i wonder how they kiss their wife...or neighbour's wife....
no paneer
no vada pav
no shivsena :D
no raj thakrey (ohhh.... fuck that bastard ...he is bloody trying to drive away the mumbai's true asset..the bloody biharis...who have dignity of labour)
no taxis...only call a cab service ( i wonder how much they would charge if they didnt obey the meter rules )
no hangout zones
no toto's
no not just jazz by the bay
u cant use the fly overs in the night :P
no street lights on all roads
ppl dance and play loud music when some one is being taken to the samshaan ( burning/burial ground ) ( majorly only the lower classes do that....but i kinda now like the idea.... )


and fucking lots of things....that are fucking different here..... which are not comin to my mind as of now..... ill keep u mofos.. posted...


a fact... i easily end up drinking more then 3 liters of water and 200ml of chai or coffee.... but i only pee once a day .... coz i sweat like a desperate pig :P



good things...

the biggest loo is marina beach...pee anywhere....there is water everywhere....
u dont have to pee again and again....its really a boon for lazy assholes like me....
its dead cheap.... the public transport... trains and railway
food is cheap... Rs. 22 thali...i bet no one will finish.... only a huge bowl of rice and unlimited sabjees and sambhar
u can buy cheap mineral water ....200 ml packet of min water for rs 1 ...only....
the buses have english boards... unlike the BEST buses in mumbai....who have only idiotic marathi which most of my friends cant read :(
the multiplexex are cheap....and food serverd in them is phattey cheap...
extra king kong popcorn and a liter of coke only for 90 rs..... wake up mumbai... :@
all ladies compulsoraly wear a huge long mogra ka gajara...so when u are in a crowded bus...stand next to one of the female... u can smell the nice scent of mogra ...rather than standing next to a anna and sharing ur sweat with him.... ( just dont Phacking get cought.. )
not many eat gutkha or 420 kacha pakka elaichi paan with bhola.. so they dont spit and draw what some call it modern art..... ( mumbai need to ban pan and gutkha :@ . . . )
SUNDAY is actually a public holiday... unlike in mumbai...where most of the fuckups happen on a bloody sunday...sunday bloody sunday.....

this city will teach one a lot of things.... only thing is ... most of it which one might not want 2learn


and i cant think of any more....good things.....coz my brain is overheating....

finally...
all those who wish to dis-agree can be my guest....this is my POV (point of view)
rest can go fuck themselves.... and if u do succeed....ill suggest his/her name for the Oscars.....

i wonder how that god called Ram survived...man many years back.....then there was no public transport also.... no internet... no tv...no FM... no mobiles.... no porno...... :O ( but he had a friend called hanuman :) )


PS : discard this blog if u are having improper bowel movements.....its really not gonna help :X
PS2 : is expensive...Sony shud slash the prices....
PS3 : remember this...when a girl says that her deadline in this city is 10 30... she is celestially blessed...and her deadline is like a girl staying in mumbai with a deadline of 2 AM ( the phaaaacked up city sleeps damn early....even the phacking public transport sleeps early )...who cares about the guys...


anna's and akka's and tata's and pati... (maaf karo if u dont like this blog... its not to yuntertain u... anywyas... )



peace :)

raKH05041982