ping-pong balls of mumbai

past is always a lovely thing...present is always the most fucked up...and the future is the most anticipated thing... i dont know why the time moves slowly when you are on your way to the party...and the time moves fast during the party...and then while you are on the way back ....if u are high....wasted...time flies....i think about that a lot...the more i think...it hurts...it makes me realize ...nothing!!

coming back to the post...what ever this post is suppose to mean to u....i dont care a ...FUCK...

after a normal days hard work at work...completely mind fucked...i call dipti...i tell her...lets head to leo's or gokul... she says....i ll come...u meet miya at fort...i meet miya...dips is still in office ..i finish having my beer...miya has rum with coke....the chicken crispy....dips is still in office...i am sure she was not impressing her bosses....trying to create a good image ...but she had to stay and get the work done...so she let us have some good time to bond.....while she worked...that was the first time i was having a drink with miya...

2 bottles of kingfisher...i am happy high...i am really happy... despite friday night...i need to get the hell out of there and rush home to get peaceful sleep so that the brain can survive...yet another days torture....

at VT station platform no: 2 this guy sells chana dal....not saadha chana dal...he sellls masala chana dal... maa chudi...what amazing chana-dal mixture he makes....with those special chatuney of some awesome stuff....full kanda maarke...masala chana daal ....fuck-t rupiye paach la... just for Rs. 5....

as i am enjoying the chana-dal swaad....as the chana-dal starts getting lesser and lesser in the paper plate that it is in ...there is surprise...HOT models posing for a firang bra and chaddies ka brand....slowly slowly as the chana-dal on the place decreases..a part of the picture is visible.... and i am not sure...the taste of the fucking chana-dal all of a sudden increases few folds...embroidered bras....and blah blah blah...models are hot...and i was sure the beer was not active...

i remember ...chana-dal wala telling me a few days back...."saab"....."hamara chana-dal kafi phemos hai"... and i was like.... pata hai, pata hai....

i was in a such a doldrums...spending time in office and feeling dead.... i was too bored...i meet miya...dipti was still working ..and the mood starts getting better as the beer made itself comfortable in my tummy....comfortable beer made me feel comfortable...chana-dal made me feel alive...and the models on the paper spiced it all up.....on my way back to vashi...the local train makes me feel at home...i am happy to be back in mumbai...where i truly feel fucked up and still enjoy every bit of it ...this city is so fucked up...the ppl are so fucked up....just like i am ....but everyday we bounce bac....soheb was happy to enjoy old MONK, and bounce back to life...i bounced back to life with two beers at GOKUL behind THE TAJ and some good time with soheb miya ready to take on life i cant desribe" ....we are the ping-pong balls of mumbai...true mumbai-kars


dips worked that day till midnight....she bounced back by partying next night...

shabbo...nice to hear from you that TASMAC has finally started selling firangi daru in their shops....JD and CR and others are now available .....

PS : i threw the paper after eating the chana-dal in the train...not in the dust-bin :| . .

raKH05041982

strawbery flavoured condoms

there is a lot of gas.... a lot of gas trapped in the earth...that is what is keeping the earth floating....and that proves that this earth is not sitting on a giant tortoise :k)

they are laying a pipeline to get gas into india from iran trough pakistan and there is a lot of research going on in the krishna godavari sector for gas... the more gas they suck out...there is a going to be issues..

we might sink... the earth is floating ...coz the gas might not be replaced by anything...so there would be a cavity and the crust might crumble....and a lot of countries are actually above the sea level b3couse there is a lot of gas below those countries.... the more gas u extract the more trouble!!

its all too complicated but most of it makes sense....all u have to do is watch southpark and family guy :)
i am in no mood to blog coz today i have a lot of gas in my tummy....


someone gave me a eno ( eno de jhat se aaram) ... (please read jhat as jhat a.k.a quick and not as jhaat a.k.a ...i am not gonna mention what jhaat is :P ) ...and said....have it ass soon ass it is put in the water....but that generated so much gas bubbles that i choked on it....so that gas actually came out of my nose and a lil bit actually creeped to my brain....and that when i realized... that my brain is actually bigger that my heart....

my heart is now a smart muscle... it pumps blood ... so does everybodies heart....and now a days my heart skips a beat every time a butterFLY in my tummy dies of gas poisoning ... i already told u....there is a lot of gas in my tummy.... i am eating a lot of spicy food...mostly chicken and i am looking for a duck....( butterFLYs in tummie happen when heart skips a beat for the wrong reason  )

these (ducks and chicken) birds are amazing... they dont fly and u cant curse them... u see GOD must have been a really smart thing... .he created these bird but didnt gave them any wings....actually they do have wings but they are as good as not having any.... i mean instead of useless wings if he had given then gas problem all the time....it would create regular gas in their tummy.... they cud have not needed winds to fly...

unfortunately my weight is too high or earth really sucks....u see Einstein invented this thing called relativity... so when newton was day dreaming about hot women under a tree...the theory of relativity came into play and he saw a apple fall down.... goood ness he must be so outta his mind that he created gravity.... i mean.... what about those poor lil hot women who were on his mind.... never mind... gravity fucked it up for both men and women... these days men need Viagra and women need push up bra's.....


then this stupid scientist invented silicon implants.... i mean... Pamela gives so many of us hard times... students cant study....adults loose sleeps.... oldies hate their life....gurls feel jealous....bitches ( female dogs ) only wish that thank god Pamela is not one of them...we shud call that scientist scien-tits

sometimes i think too much...and sometimes i dont think at all about the things i am thinking...

all the gas.... in my tummmy... makes grumbling sound...and at times it leaks from the far end of my smaller intestine....fuck.... i shud really stop now...else blogger s will not appreciate this blog....

those who read it....shud try and not search for the humor in this blog coz there is no humor...

there is a lot of gas.... in this world and in every bodies tummies....

the last i heard was scientists are studying the about of gas that comes out of a cows tummy while she digests her food and its impact on global warming... i mean they can leave alone the poor cow who gives us milk....and concentrate on indigestion issues human beings are facing...our farts are creating more global warming that those poos cows...and we dont even give milk :) .... oh women do .....sometimes....


milk is a awesome thing...and it actually helps in reducing the gas in the tummmy... i shud go get a badam milk... i always wonder why they show newly wedded wives giving their newly wedded husband a glass of hot milk.... cows milk reduces gas and gas is what they need to pump .... the more gas they pump into their wives the chances of satisfaction are more...and the more they pump...oohhhhh crap...why dont i just shut the fuck up...... ( that to me )

remember the times when our dads and their true wives used to buy us gas balloons when we were kids.... thats only to make their kids more smart.... frankly speaking... they can give us a carrot and ask us to shut the hell up...and they can have a walk in the clouds and romance....but no... no mom and their true husbond do that to thier kids...gas balloons build bonds....


gas really helps.... inert gas help more....


PS : the title of this post is only too lure ignorant bada-studs to read this blog....strawbery flavoured condoms


:)

baBa's XP-rence and life in a big metropolitan village called chennai in INDIA

PS : discard this blog if u are having improper bowel movements.....this blog will not help you... may be try jamalGOTA or kayam chooran


lots of things that we mumbaikars mite find irritating...in this city who is fast aping to be like mumbai....

the most important thing... its a hot city...as in the chicks are not really hot...but the weather is.... so u can wear a lungi... but its completely allright to not wear anything inside the lungi...( just dont get drunk and loose ur lungi)

not so good things
ppl go to sleep by 10 pm
hotels don't take orders after 10 30 pm
railway stations are empty after 10 30 pm
buses are dead crowded
ppl can pee where ever they like..... ( u can even pee right opposite to the famous temples with ur back facing to women.. )
no descent wine shops
very few bars
loads of tamil telgu malayalam and kannada tv channels....very few hindi...u ll be surprised to when u are stayin in some hotel....
no directions on the road...but loads of glowsigns asking u to wear helmates and not use cell phone while driving....
language is like jeelebies....
even the north indians who have settles here for ages prefer to speak in tamil... :(
local muslims might not know urdu....but they speak fluent tamil
lots of one ways....u dont understand how to reach a destination.....
no roads bigger then 100feet
lots of lungis indicating the temperature of the city... higher the lungi....higher is the temperature...
no meter in autos ( minimum fare for a person not knowing tamil is Rs 50 )
very strict police.. no helmet....u are dead meet.... riding bike after midnight.... naka bandi every hwere.... (kahan se aaya ...kahan jaa raha hai....sab batana padta ahi.... movies se aa raha hoon bataya to ...proof ke liye movie tickets is a must )
local water sucks..... its hard as a desperat cock....(eeks....a dirty comparison)... metro water is just getting popular...
no rotis, no chapatis ... only in very expensive restaurants... in descent hotels 2 rotis for 25 bucks ) but u phackin dont get choice of vegetables... they serve something called KURMA..u better eat those funny chapatis with that kurma....
police here look like the RAWAN from ramayana...big phaaacking big moushtaches ...i wonder how they kiss their wife...or neighbour's wife....
no paneer
no vada pav
no shivsena :D
no raj thakrey (ohhh.... fuck that bastard ...he is bloody trying to drive away the mumbai's true asset..the bloody biharis...who have dignity of labour)
no taxis...only call a cab service ( i wonder how much they would charge if they didnt obey the meter rules )
no hangout zones
no toto's
no not just jazz by the bay
u cant use the fly overs in the night :P
no street lights on all roads
ppl dance and play loud music when some one is being taken to the samshaan ( burning/burial ground ) ( majorly only the lower classes do that....but i kinda now like the idea.... )


and fucking lots of things....that are fucking different here..... which are not comin to my mind as of now..... ill keep u mofos.. posted...


a fact... i easily end up drinking more then 3 liters of water and 200ml of chai or coffee.... but i only pee once a day .... coz i sweat like a desperate pig :P



good things...

the biggest loo is marina beach...pee anywhere....there is water everywhere....
u dont have to pee again and again....its really a boon for lazy assholes like me....
its dead cheap.... the public transport... trains and railway
food is cheap... Rs. 22 thali...i bet no one will finish.... only a huge bowl of rice and unlimited sabjees and sambhar
u can buy cheap mineral water ....200 ml packet of min water for rs 1 ...only....
the buses have english boards... unlike the BEST buses in mumbai....who have only idiotic marathi which most of my friends cant read :(
the multiplexex are cheap....and food serverd in them is phattey cheap...
extra king kong popcorn and a liter of coke only for 90 rs..... wake up mumbai... :@
all ladies compulsoraly wear a huge long mogra ka gajara...so when u are in a crowded bus...stand next to one of the female... u can smell the nice scent of mogra ...rather than standing next to a anna and sharing ur sweat with him.... ( just dont Phacking get cought.. )
not many eat gutkha or 420 kacha pakka elaichi paan with bhola.. so they dont spit and draw what some call it modern art..... ( mumbai need to ban pan and gutkha :@ . . . )
SUNDAY is actually a public holiday... unlike in mumbai...where most of the fuckups happen on a bloody sunday...sunday bloody sunday.....

this city will teach one a lot of things.... only thing is ... most of it which one might not want 2learn


and i cant think of any more....good things.....coz my brain is overheating....

finally...
all those who wish to dis-agree can be my guest....this is my POV (point of view)
rest can go fuck themselves.... and if u do succeed....ill suggest his/her name for the Oscars.....

i wonder how that god called Ram survived...man many years back.....then there was no public transport also.... no internet... no tv...no FM... no mobiles.... no porno...... :O ( but he had a friend called hanuman :) )


PS : discard this blog if u are having improper bowel movements.....its really not gonna help :X
PS2 : is expensive...Sony shud slash the prices....
PS3 : remember this...when a girl says that her deadline in this city is 10 30... she is celestially blessed...and her deadline is like a girl staying in mumbai with a deadline of 2 AM ( the phaaaacked up city sleeps damn early....even the phacking public transport sleeps early )...who cares about the guys...


anna's and akka's and tata's and pati... (maaf karo if u dont like this blog... its not to yuntertain u... anywyas... )



peace :)

raKH05041982