ping-pong balls of mumbai

past is always a lovely thing...present is always the most fucked up...and the future is the most anticipated thing... i dont know why the time moves slowly when you are on your way to the party...and the time moves fast during the party...and then while you are on the way back ....if u are high....wasted...time flies....i think about that a lot...the more i think...it hurts...it makes me realize ...nothing!!

coming back to the post...what ever this post is suppose to mean to u....i dont care a ...FUCK...

after a normal days hard work at work...completely mind fucked...i call dipti...i tell her...lets head to leo's or gokul... she says....i ll come...u meet miya at fort...i meet miya...dips is still in office ..i finish having my beer...miya has rum with coke....the chicken crispy....dips is still in office...i am sure she was not impressing her bosses....trying to create a good image ...but she had to stay and get the work done...so she let us have some good time to bond.....while she worked...that was the first time i was having a drink with miya...

2 bottles of kingfisher...i am happy high...i am really happy... despite friday night...i need to get the hell out of there and rush home to get peaceful sleep so that the brain can survive...yet another days torture....

at VT station platform no: 2 this guy sells chana dal....not saadha chana dal...he sellls masala chana dal... maa chudi...what amazing chana-dal mixture he makes....with those special chatuney of some awesome stuff....full kanda maarke...masala chana daal ....fuck-t rupiye paach la... just for Rs. 5....

as i am enjoying the chana-dal swaad....as the chana-dal starts getting lesser and lesser in the paper plate that it is in ...there is surprise...HOT models posing for a firang bra and chaddies ka brand....slowly slowly as the chana-dal on the place decreases..a part of the picture is visible.... and i am not sure...the taste of the fucking chana-dal all of a sudden increases few folds...embroidered bras....and blah blah blah...models are hot...and i was sure the beer was not active...

i remember ...chana-dal wala telling me a few days back...."saab"....."hamara chana-dal kafi phemos hai"... and i was like.... pata hai, pata hai....

i was in a such a doldrums...spending time in office and feeling dead.... i was too bored...i meet miya...dipti was still working ..and the mood starts getting better as the beer made itself comfortable in my tummy....comfortable beer made me feel comfortable...chana-dal made me feel alive...and the models on the paper spiced it all up.....on my way back to vashi...the local train makes me feel at home...i am happy to be back in mumbai...where i truly feel fucked up and still enjoy every bit of it ...this city is so fucked up...the ppl are so fucked up....just like i am ....but everyday we bounce bac....soheb was happy to enjoy old MONK, and bounce back to life...i bounced back to life with two beers at GOKUL behind THE TAJ and some good time with soheb miya ready to take on life i cant desribe" ....we are the ping-pong balls of mumbai...true mumbai-kars


dips worked that day till midnight....she bounced back by partying next night...

shabbo...nice to hear from you that TASMAC has finally started selling firangi daru in their shops....JD and CR and others are now available .....

PS : i threw the paper after eating the chana-dal in the train...not in the dust-bin :| . .

raKH05041982

bhenchod

benchode.. the magical word.. the word that comes first to the mind.. When things go wrong.. When life gets fucked.. benchode.. Life was a mean bych today.. raKH05041982

keep on rocking in the free world...

gone are the days when IM and PM were associated with messengers and internet..
then it was IM - instant messenger & PM - personal message...

now it is IM - indian mujahideen & PM - pakistani mujahideen
dont understand why the hindu radicals are doing what they have started....it might become a cult some day.... after all the gr8 HINDU gowd once eradicated a terrorist who stole his wife for her beauty....
:(

Neil Young once wrote a very beautiful song...its got meaning too ....

I see a girl in the night
with a baby in her hands
Under an old street light

near a garbage can

Now she put her kid away, she's gone to get a hit
She hates her life, and what she's done with it
That's one more kid, that'll never go to school
Never get to fall in love, never get to be cool


Keep on rocking in the free world
keep on rocking in the free world
keep on rocking in the free world
keep on rocking in the free world

yeah thats what we are suppose to do....

no matter who fucks whom and who fucks the other fucker in return, whether its for oil or strategic alliance for military...getting the nuclear deal signed or finding a cure for cancer....or leaving your next generation a chance to taste a burger thats so famous in uncle sam's world...or what ever it may be....

yeah ...u got it right... we are suppose to ..sing and follow

keep on rocking in the free world

PS : remember the ice is melting and its all gonna wash our sins....

raKH05041982

a crazY littel things called LOVEDA...

LOVEDA...loveda lag gaya zindagy kaa...deep down south...aisa lagata tha ek din ek hafte ke barabar hia...dimaag mein itni chutiyagiri ho rahi thee kee...aise lag raha tha butterNan playing football with my heart in my head was much more fun...sala her ek din...woich tensionor sales target...EOD dimmaga ka bhosada ho jaata tha...pata tha jab yeh sab khatam ho jaayega ...sala poorani kabar khodke poorani baante and yaadon ko sochke bada majja ayega....jhendu ke phool ki tarah dil khil jaayega...

out of the many things..yeah many things....i know i wont miss many of them...

i mean if a man had nothing gr8 happening in his life... i am sure he will start appreciating all the chutiyagiri happening around him...he will surely enjoy it...

if i went shouting loveda loveda loveda...i would get slapped in mumbai...this fear once came true when the off duty cop who had the balls of frustrated trapped anger to slap me on a muthafukin DIWALI day...yeah that was like a big cracker bursting right on my face....chutiya burhaan wanted to buy chaddi....and to buy chaddi he comes all the way to vashi from kharghar....its not like ppl in kharghar mein log undies nahi pehan te....the reason is there is a famous chaddi-baniyan shop in the lane next to golden punjab and navratna....right next to jhama in sector 17 vashi..

we chediots (chediots are nothing but chutiyaas who are also idiots).... ho ho ho...it was our fav adda.... sitting on bikes parked in from on navratana...adda for getting together....chill out...drool on the hot girls and aunty's who came shopping in the sec 17 market...buy chhota baatlees of wodkaa and then flip open the bottle of sprite...gulp 3/4th of the sprite the bitter way..and then mix the two miscible liquids.... the chhota baatlee in the remaining 1/4th sprite...then the ritual used to be ..waiter will try to show that he is a true lost maharashtrian indian...dance with the sprite baatlee having wodka like a bartender...sprinkle 4 drops of daru for the ppl who are not with us...and then drink the sweet concentrate to glory...me..mikhail..lez...waiter...claude.. and others.....

chutiyagiri to hona hi tha...burhaan was with romstone...and usual we have a healthy exercise of words of wisdom.... parade of galis begin... bencho...bhosdaaa...maa ki aaag...it was like we are full of them..... i tell burhaan, jab woh patlee gali se kamati ho raha tha.... LOVEDAy...( in proper bumbaiyaa style)... apni size ki chaddi kharidnaa..and then burhaan with his loud mouth goes...blah blah blah....loveda bada hai to meri kya galti...and i say...jaa be loveday...jaa...undie kharid...

and then i dont remember what happpen...there is that gap ...i dont remember anything.... next think i remember a khaki...is in front of me, me surprised...trying to take my case....woh maamoo ka gussa pata nahi kahan se aaya...apne chhote nanhe ke saamne hi raises his had ...ONE TIGHT SLAP...silence...then pandu thoda much much kiya...and in few more seconds we left the scene....

LOVEDA bola....jhapad khaya :|

i still couldnt figure out ....whats with this crazy little thing..word loveda....the best thing in chennai, or coimbatore, or in madurai...or TN for that matter....there would not be any police who would slap me if i went on a parade shouting out loud loveda loveda loveda...why ?... its simple.... love is nothing but love...and "da" is a fix they use....like in mumbai we use "re" or "be"...

coming back to missing things...the list may be long...but few are like...

i miss that dude who looked ditto like forest whitaker, who didnt understand a phaaaking word of hindi, he made excellent cofee...the MR bakery on Gokhale road off cross cut road in ramnagar in coimbatore and the small coffee shop behind murugan temple in vadapalani in chennai...who made coffee even better but always insisted on mee eating cookies and bananas...

miss that ultra fucked up amman mess ...what a mess that mess was in...where the parotta with kurma was a killer...and half boil....ha ha ha...half boil is actually a half fry egg...frankly i stopped giving a damn...coz the taste was as good as ghar ka khana....

miss aachi mess in tatabad was homefood....and so was the mess close to aachi...which was special for its non-veg...

miss Sathyam Cinemas which could have easily become a living room with awesome surround dolby sound, full time working AC, and a source of innocent ego-free pop-corns...if i was to stay in chennai for longer than a year....

marina was a playground...Thiruvanmayur beach was the best open house bar...miss them

i miss walking randomly on the streets of T-nagar....it was a hopeful place...where i always dreamed of bumping into the awesomo butterNan ....but only dreams of true color come true....mOnOchromatic dreams are hard to come true...

the dude who used to give me and mangesh a happy smile everytime we went to buy coke and chakhnaa..those plastic glasses are being missed....those green TASMAC boards...
and that dudes elder bro...whos tamilish ( a mix of tamil and english) persuaded me to buy a tata sky connection....(fuck...there was no way i would miss euro cup)

that lady who took gr8 deal of interest in making mootai-lapa or mootai-podimas and who would enquire about where we had dinner last night every time we skipped dinner at her shop....and showed that she cares...and she did.

miss hanging out with keshavmoorthy and velayutham swamy ...who took much interest in teaching me tamil, withouth them i would be gangraped in coimbatore and chennai... abdul bhai, who was a complete timepass character.....it was fun teaching him few hindi words....

i miss curd rice, oorga...pappad

miss those 2 bloody mechanics who conned me into buying a fucked up bike and feeling happy about it...mayeer is what i called them in my mind ....the only slang i learnt...down south... sometimes, the things that interest you the most are never tought....you gotta learn them on your own...in this case, I chose not to learn how or wha they say ....those slangs in tamil....slangs are common in mumbai and north...madarchode, behahchode...i still dont know how they say it in tamil....i knew i would never need to use them in a land of so many GODS...

all i know is...I was an interesting character before living in tamil nadu.....Now i am an even more frigging special interesting character....

above all....i miss the way i used to miss my life in tamil nadu...i miss the way i used to miss mumbai/bombay....i miss the way i missed my friends... the way mumbaikars struggle it out...the way they fight to keep their miserable lives above the bare minimum happiness level...the way they slap all the stress and bounce back like a ping pong ball everyday in the morning (few of the mumbaikars ounce at night)....the way we use madarchode benchode and not actually mean it...the way we laugh it out when we miss the local train despite doing everything on time....the way we eat a vadapav as a treat from a chindhy rich friend....the way auto-rickshaw-wallahs charge you by the meter...and nothing more...the way the food kooked in slums, packed nicely by young kids in unclean plastic is consumed with satisfaction buy the middleclass...the leafy vegetables grown from the gutter/sewage ka pani on the sides of railway track, are treated as a healthy organic food....i missed it all....

sometimes it is necessary to separate yourself from the city you love ....only to fall in love with it all over again...


PS :"love da....benchode" & "maa-chudi"....are my most frequently used fav galis.


raKH05041982

under the color tv . . . . . .chemical locha explained...

12the september 10am...waiting for the crocodile to decide my future...not wanting o think too much...i scribbled the thought in my head...

all i did was sit under the color tv on the first floor, wait for hours ...for her to come online...if she came online..the heart used to skip a beat..it was becoming more of a exercise for my heart...and then jump with her in the world of insane fun, chat, innocent flirting and what ever it was ...i was a balloon filled with vapors of happiness geld with laughter.... and if she didn't come online...i used to imagine that if she came online...today....blah blah blah... its clear...my brain was super scrwed...chemical locha...and if she came online and couldnt chat...i was like a balloon filled with fart...heart broken...sunti knows exactly what i used to go through...

then one day in a mail...i get a picture of her and i start getting high...high on her beauty...instant love at not really first sight....and blah blah blah...baBa crashes...

few things were matching matching...like a sari with a 2 by 2 ka cutpiece blouse ..sometimes no matching matching...andhra ka hero ka dressing style ke tarah...here i am talking about tastes interests thoughts....etc...

PBS (pearls before swine) was perfect matching matching...she loves it so much that she will order for books of PBS online and happily pay in $s...i love it so much that i will scan the whole fucking web to get free soft copies...few more matching matching things were rain-dance, world peace, nailbiting performances sunshine etc...the non matching things can go and fuck themselves...not worth mentioning here....

never met her, never had a word with her, just chats and exchange of sms's ...and fal in love might sound like a big chutiyagiri...and now sometimes i do agree it as a chutiyagiri ...but what else is not a chutiyagiri in this world....sometimes...most of the times...sometimes all the time...this life is a BIG chutiyagiri...I mean we cant have everything, at times we dont even get 50% of the things we dream of...coz we are always tought to dream big...dream of the impossible...fuck those...who really tell us to do that....unrealistic reality... and then few things that we want in life, come in our life and before we are able to blink, they are frigging out of the life...turn our...i get a chance to meet her in her hometown ...madgrasss.....(madgrass = chennai)...i meet her...and i force my self to blink...but before i can blink...all i know was....i am saying...dude...i dont know what the fuck is happening....sunti is like...baBa... get a life...


everything comes to a standstill...the balloon is pinpricked...hona kya hai...typical hindi fillum scene shot....she get engaged...and tamasha dekhta reh gaya...baBa...kabhi kabhi you miss the starting gun in a race that u dont want to win....and consequences dont let you participate the races you want to win...thoda bahoot jyaada late ho gaya...but what the hell...khud ko tasalli dene ke liye...they say naa...try kiya naa...jee kholke try kiya....thoda bahoot safalata bhi praapt kiya...

the problem was her jaadu had spread to such a high degree that she started becoming the ideal girl friend to have....but then like some wise man called baBa once said.... whats ideal in this world apart from DEATH...?

friends went to movies..i chose to sit under the tv, bewda dost log went to daru-party...i was sitting under the tv...team-mates busy making presentations to impress lifeless teachers...i was sitting under the tv...on the day of the eggjams, everybody slogging their ass to reduce the fat and get in shape....i am found under the tv.. at times till 11 pm... pataOfying the watchman... to let me sit under the tv...so that i can be online...i can chat...i can feel like a happy balloon.... there was life under the tv....there was joy...there was timepass, there was fun, there was me...sitting all most all the time when i am not doing anything ....under the tv on the first floor was what i love calling "stairway to heaven"...but i couldnt hear...the wind blow, and did i know my stairway to heaven was on the whispering wind....

to accompany me when she was not around online was naruto, bleach, weeds, pink floyd, gtalk, and my fuckin awesome laptop ......


PS :the crocodile kinda surprised me....said...mumbai se jyaada pyaar tujhse aur koi nahi kar sakta...he transferred me to mumbai....

raKH05041982

phasechange

life has changed drastically over a very short period of TIME... over the past few weeks....


raKH05041982

perplexed thoughts of a bewildered mind of a disoriented boy.

fuck...life is a bych....and i seriously need to play a pimp... i need to learn to hustle... i need to be bad... i need to learn to be mean... i need to be a ...what a typical niggah would say...in snoop dogg style... a muthafukn hustler...

bloody hell...slept like a pig... the whole fucking night...yesterday night...slpt the fuckin full morning... why....coz i was tired... the fever and the food poisoning had fucked up the chemical combination and hormones were all running loose in random directions....

dint speak to more than 3 ppl in the whole day... the chaiwala... the medical shopkeeper who gave me that awesome cough syrup....god..that really helps me sleep like a pig.... i am a fan....and the third one is me... yeah i was talking to me in the mirror... somehow i feel that me in the mirror is always smarter than me...

and at 6 30 chhota boss calls me up..says call bada boss... bada boss is always in straight forward mood... he said... come and meet me.... and from there go to mumbai... ...fuck.. i mean..i was dying to get back to mumbai....i was so frigging desperate to go back to mumbai... and i was not really expecting such a fast procedure to gop back...but neverthless...i am tired of living in chennai... a part of me is still in chennai... and then a part of me is going to in coimbatore... i am tired of eating funny food.... though its healthy.... i mean...i can go on ...on... on... but i need to stop, this time. its not really a bad place to live in. once u go with the flow...i am sure anyone will enjoy.. this place...

its like that white skinned 86 year young firang dadi-maa i met in sulochana spinning mills on the metttupalayam road... bhadwee is staying in kothagiri for the last 30 years...running a descent international school ...speaking fluent tamil...enjoying her last few years of insane life... enjoying her coffee and idlee dosa...spoke to her and asked her.... how did she like this place... she said...i just liked it... those bloody lovely hippies...surely knew where to find peace....( kothagiri is in the nilgiri's)


so i guess i shall find myself in mumbai in few more days...just need to sort a few things.......gosh... bombay was so much better...it shounded more hip and less ghati :P

will watch saroja today....night show... hope the movie is a good one...and it wud be mooolah well spent. have to take care of few things. will love all.

peace comes in small pieces at times.

raKH05041982

1)
shit happens.... shit has to happen... else we all will die out of constipation.
shit happens.... for good.... for the best... and shit repeats... shit has to happen again and again...
2)
s.h.i.t is also the best technique engineers love... follow... live by. these days a lot of non-engineers are also practicing technique. s.h.i.t is some how in time. its far more effective than J.I.T. a.k.a...Just in Time. there is more thrill and more excitement in the s.h.i.t technique.
3)
people like to blame each other. so do i. i blame others every time i fart people in public. so the next time i blame you.... just let go ...coz its gonna go with the wind...
4)
everyday i am not understanding what ...where ...why is my life drifting... dont know where to stop thinking....when to let go.....what to leave behind... what to carry along.... there is a battle going in the head ....the mind is at war...
5)
in the last 24 hours i have slpet for more than 15 hours... i have had some medicine ..some cough syrup... and measured my temp on the frigging thermometer a few times.
6)
i have found myself many a times in weird situations where i am forced to think ...forced to take decisions... forced to make mistakes...
7)
lot of shit has happened in the last few months... and i am happy to survive. i also have had the best experience in my life.... i have made some nice friends. many of them i might not see again in my life....
8)
i am so god damn bored today that i am not in the mood to do what ever..... i guess ill have a early dinner today... dosha and chatney.
9)
its bound to happen...if u watch too much discovery channel, animal kingdom and NGC..its obviously gonna have a side affect on the fragile mind which is already at war
0)
few things need to change ...its high time... i need to change.

raKH05041982

dance like a butterflY...sting like a bee

the other day i was watching TV.... yeah...i was actually watching the TV....this continued for quite some time in my life....

one  day i took the TV remote and put it ON....i put the TV ON.... and now i was actauly watching TV..motion pictures.... loads of channels....loads and loads of them...cudnt decide which one to watch....one brain ...2 eyes...2 ears with a lil wax in them....and more than 150 channels and too many confusing buttons on the fucking remote control....

( jlt...remember the time when doordarshan used to start with that awesome music....and that fundoo animation... just love it.....but i wonder...why they stopped playin it now..... )

the day when i came to chennai for the 2nd time in my life.... ...early night....went out...got some dinner for myself...came back to the hotel room....and put ON the TV to watch something..... but to surprise... found no HINDI channels except DD and a crappy movie channel...which even hindi speaking animals will refuse to watch...there were a few engleess channels too....but most of the channels were andoo gandoo pandoo... bole to southy bhasha wala channel.... now watching these channels is a cult of its own....they are special....all special....and u dont need man ki aankhey to see what i mean.....

u gotta watch them to believe them...i remember correctly...SUN TV was very famous during engineering time....they used to be really in demand at nights.. scene shot TV is what i used to like calling it.. why scene shot TV ? ....obiviously becouse the special scenes those were aired with south indian siren bombs which i later refer as hari bhari item in this blog ...and so were some these awesome mallu channels which were fighting with the tamil channels with respect to TRP ratings... now dont ask me whats TRP ...use google...

coming back to ....

the other day i was watchin a TV.....it was ON.....in some chai wala shop.....which are called bakery here....in coimbatore ... i see this amazing dance.....most of us might think this is some extinct tribal dance performed in rememebering the lost .... but it was not.... it was the dance of KOLLYWOOD....

for those who dont know thaa fuck is KOLLYWOOD....its HOLLYWOOD and BOLLYWOOD of the south.....and trust me....guys....they are way ahead of us.....much better....in what ever they do...but they overdoo most of the things always.....i guess this art they have learned from the gr8 ranjnikanth...man this guy is so amazing that despite being my grand fathers age.....he is dancing there with beautiful women which i later call hari bhari item in this post ..... bling .... and what a beautiful potti ( daughter ) he has..... dil-khush koolfi..... dil-khush falooda ....

so coming back ....i was sipping this awesome aatam tea...aatam tea is the normal tea they serve here...withough the doodh  ka jhaag.... withouth froth of the milk....and i see this hari bhari item dancing....it was the same tribal dance.....the same tribal dance....ok....most of the tribal dances look the same....but god damn it...if there is a hari bhari item doing a dance or a tribal dance..or a cabre...or a salsaaa......which guy is actually seeing the dance... we are always focussed on the woman of substance..and her substance ....greater the substance greater is the attention.... so this hari bhari item is dancing....and then the hero pops.... hero....is he the hero??....and i am like....hari bhari item ka hero gadhey ko khilane layak sookhe ghass ki tarah kyun hai....


so the dance continues...and the woman of substance is in full swing...seeking attention of every normal guy....attention is often distracted by the hero... cant he just let the hari bhari dance...and join the rest of the men who are swinging as the hari bhari swings.....no...but the director has something on his mind...so the sookha ghass hero will dance..... hari bhari item is very important for the success of the movie.......

on the other hand...during the end of the movie....when the hari bhari is too tired to dance ....actually it wont make sense....to keep her dancing though out the movie .....the sookha ghass actually shows what he is capable of....he is so kool with his free style kick ass fight moves.... he can stop the whole army of  several james bonds, if he had too. Most of the time....sookha ghass is fighting to save the hari bhari....or to save mommy.....egg-jhaatly like they show in bollywood....


sookha ghass is actaully a chuppa rustum....he only clicks during the last fight.... when it matters the most...unlike virender sehwag ...who clicks when it is of no importance....do u ever think about what happend to .. maa ka phone ....kar lo duniya mutthi mein.... sehwag... maa ka phone.. last ball pe chhakadi.....that advertising gimmick.....sala sab ke sab bhool gaye.....poora paise phokat....so sookha ghass is also important for the success of the movie...

...a thought came to my mind....but i killed it....it was a useless thought......i thought... why not try my hand at Kollywood....he he.... ok...enuf of humor ...no one appreciates humor....specially when it is not humorous...


moral of the story :
( for all those pals of mine... who might become to be rich directors and producers... please dont forget me to make me the hero of ur fillum....i want to sting like a bee .. :P )

so remember to make a hit movie....all we need a hari bhari item ...who dances like a butterfly no matter how bulky she is....and we need a sookha ghass ..no matter how ugly looking he is....should sting like a bee :)

u n t i t l e d

Breathe, breathe in the air.....

there are a lot of wonderful things happening in this world at any given time...unfortunetely we can not know and experience them.... we can not be at two places at the same time....we can only be human... we cant emulate GOD

there are a few things u want to experience again and again in life...thats when u realize that u are an addict... few of the times its useless and few other times its utter useless...but nevertheless its all bullshit in the end...

pink floyd said it very beautifully...

Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and teas you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be.


so now... there are many a times we make mistakes in our life... we are suppose to make mistakes.. coz thats how we learn... we make mistakes and we learn... we are "supposed" to learn from our mistake....so that we dont repeat them..... but many times what happens is... we repeat the mistakes....

we pay for the mistakes we make...sometimes we love it ...sometimes we hate it...so at times we make a mistake we love tp make ... coz we think we have made the right mistake... coz if we had made the wrong mistake...the consequences would be far more worse than that of the right mistake....but thats now how i think it should be... but in the ned...even i am human...

For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race towards an early grave.

with most of us...no matter how hard we try.... we dont want to make new mistakes....we are happy making the same old mistakes.... we hate to make new mistakes in life.... we dont want to learn new things.... if mistakes teach us.. if mistakes are the stepping stone to success... we shud make more mistakes...newer mistakes.. and lean as much as we can.... we keep making the same old mistake ...coz may be we are afraid of change...change is a must when we are traveling in a public transport ....today i lost 50 paise ....conductor refused to give me change... i failed to tender exact change....


shall complete this tough one laters... too sleepy as of now... please ......

strawbery flavoured condoms

there is a lot of gas.... a lot of gas trapped in the earth...that is what is keeping the earth floating....and that proves that this earth is not sitting on a giant tortoise :k)

they are laying a pipeline to get gas into india from iran trough pakistan and there is a lot of research going on in the krishna godavari sector for gas... the more gas they suck out...there is a going to be issues..

we might sink... the earth is floating ...coz the gas might not be replaced by anything...so there would be a cavity and the crust might crumble....and a lot of countries are actually above the sea level b3couse there is a lot of gas below those countries.... the more gas u extract the more trouble!!

its all too complicated but most of it makes sense....all u have to do is watch southpark and family guy :)
i am in no mood to blog coz today i have a lot of gas in my tummy....


someone gave me a eno ( eno de jhat se aaram) ... (please read jhat as jhat a.k.a quick and not as jhaat a.k.a ...i am not gonna mention what jhaat is :P ) ...and said....have it ass soon ass it is put in the water....but that generated so much gas bubbles that i choked on it....so that gas actually came out of my nose and a lil bit actually creeped to my brain....and that when i realized... that my brain is actually bigger that my heart....

my heart is now a smart muscle... it pumps blood ... so does everybodies heart....and now a days my heart skips a beat every time a butterFLY in my tummy dies of gas poisoning ... i already told u....there is a lot of gas in my tummy.... i am eating a lot of spicy food...mostly chicken and i am looking for a duck....( butterFLYs in tummie happen when heart skips a beat for the wrong reason  )

these (ducks and chicken) birds are amazing... they dont fly and u cant curse them... u see GOD must have been a really smart thing... .he created these bird but didnt gave them any wings....actually they do have wings but they are as good as not having any.... i mean instead of useless wings if he had given then gas problem all the time....it would create regular gas in their tummy.... they cud have not needed winds to fly...

unfortunately my weight is too high or earth really sucks....u see Einstein invented this thing called relativity... so when newton was day dreaming about hot women under a tree...the theory of relativity came into play and he saw a apple fall down.... goood ness he must be so outta his mind that he created gravity.... i mean.... what about those poor lil hot women who were on his mind.... never mind... gravity fucked it up for both men and women... these days men need Viagra and women need push up bra's.....


then this stupid scientist invented silicon implants.... i mean... Pamela gives so many of us hard times... students cant study....adults loose sleeps.... oldies hate their life....gurls feel jealous....bitches ( female dogs ) only wish that thank god Pamela is not one of them...we shud call that scientist scien-tits

sometimes i think too much...and sometimes i dont think at all about the things i am thinking...

all the gas.... in my tummmy... makes grumbling sound...and at times it leaks from the far end of my smaller intestine....fuck.... i shud really stop now...else blogger s will not appreciate this blog....

those who read it....shud try and not search for the humor in this blog coz there is no humor...

there is a lot of gas.... in this world and in every bodies tummies....

the last i heard was scientists are studying the about of gas that comes out of a cows tummy while she digests her food and its impact on global warming... i mean they can leave alone the poor cow who gives us milk....and concentrate on indigestion issues human beings are facing...our farts are creating more global warming that those poos cows...and we dont even give milk :) .... oh women do .....sometimes....


milk is a awesome thing...and it actually helps in reducing the gas in the tummmy... i shud go get a badam milk... i always wonder why they show newly wedded wives giving their newly wedded husband a glass of hot milk.... cows milk reduces gas and gas is what they need to pump .... the more gas they pump into their wives the chances of satisfaction are more...and the more they pump...oohhhhh crap...why dont i just shut the fuck up...... ( that to me )

remember the times when our dads and their true wives used to buy us gas balloons when we were kids.... thats only to make their kids more smart.... frankly speaking... they can give us a carrot and ask us to shut the hell up...and they can have a walk in the clouds and romance....but no... no mom and their true husbond do that to thier kids...gas balloons build bonds....


gas really helps.... inert gas help more....


PS : the title of this post is only too lure ignorant bada-studs to read this blog....strawbery flavoured condoms


:)

TASMAC must go :@

there is absolutely no regrets... life teaches many things even when we are out of school..

no regrets....
didnt feel like abusing that bastard ...didnt feel like bashing that mofo ( always read mofo as motherfuker) .... fucking got duped in the bar in chennai ( yaaron...hasna mat... daru pine ke baad apna haal to is equation ki tarah ho jaata hai ----> SUPERMAN - few senses = baBa ).... i mean there are no simple bars in chennai .... sab ke sab maa chudi ... self proclaimed 3 star and 4 star. but the feeling of getting semi-drunk and getting gypped by a "anna" bar tender is also an experience. i mean life is all about experiencing different experiences....but the best part of this is everytime u get a different exp even though the same thing is heppening around ....

lets drift to a wonderful experience baBa had in coimbatore :P
its like one of the sundays when i had nothing to do in coimbatore ...i went to this place called TASMAC.

TASMAC is a govt controled BAR that no sane person wud like to visit. there is a wine shop and next to it is a small dingy place to have that alcohol. u might be lucky to have service in that TASMAC bar. or else u just buy a liqour bottle, a plastic glass and a water packet and rock and roll ..

trust me...i am not able to explain it properly...over here... u gotta see it to believe it.... i wud say...all these firangs come and visit places of no significance according to me... they visit the temples when the god is within them , they visit the beaches though they have better beaches in their own country ...and visit zoos while they can do that by watching animal planet and discovery... but tell me...frankly which TV channel is going to show TASMAC on it they will only show things that very few indians have been.... so most of the firangs and the tourists are gonna miss it....

ppl have a strange way of drinking daru....so do i... over here in TASMAC...ppl buy good quality alcohol... but the way of drinking it is like they are raping toy doll and they dont want to be cought.... its a quick thing.... aao... daru ke batlee kholo... plastic ke glass mein u make 2 huge pegs and add very lil water....and drink like we drank boost or horlicks when we were kids...... and get the fuck out of the TASMAC shop.

so the good question ...is.... what the fuck was in doing there ?...in TASMAC.... i mean all these 5 months i spend so far here...i always wanted to see what is the feeling like to have daru in a TASMAC shop....

i cudnt go inside without any alcohol and keep staring at others and observing
so i sit in the first available table and have my bullet beer :) guess what was on the lable of the beer who is a part of the great UB group..... it said liquor is injurious to health and liquor destroys the country..no wonder they didint mention whos country it destroys....

....and there this oldie regular fella comes in...with a local brand of whisky and a plastic glass and a water packet. so the atttenders all know him since he is regular....and make his peg for him...and the peg scared the shit out if me... a bloody approx 130 ml ka extra large peg :| ...and then 30 ml water....no ice .... and the old fucker goes as if there is a competition.... finishes more than half of the fluid in that glass and ...gosh how the fuck can i explain... mera gand phaad diya sale ne...i thought buddha aaj tapake ne mood mein hai... i was no longer intertested in my beer.. the old mans eyes were red.... watery....

many ppl came and left... before i cud finish my beer as if they were all in a hurry... gand mein aag lagi ho ootni teji se daru peeke sablog kamti ho rahe the....

thats enuf... i had a idiotic experience .... he spoke to me in broken tamil and kept saying that he loved pali hill and cuff parade ... that he once visited in mumbai... and then a lil bit of dharavi, sion and matunga ..... i left with my brain numb....i felt sorry....but i didnt know, who that sorry feeling was for.....


coming back to the time when the baBa got cheated....

so i am waiting for my bus to coimbatore ( the only heaven in Tamil Nadu ... perosonal POV again all those who disgree can go fuck themselves and not worry about STDS :| )

so to kill 3 long hours i go to chennai international hotel its next to the OMNI bus stand in koyembedu lol international to fool all those idiots who still think that made in india is no good.... whatever...

so i have no human company...apart from the bar tender but in the end i refuse to call him a human...and the tata sky connection playing channel V ...and iris was on get gorgious 5
for all those who might think who the hell is...she... she was our Junior in school and her grand paa used to teach us football .... bad way to keeel time....

at the end of the show he said... i had 6 small pegs of OLD monk gold reserve ....and i was like...dude...either i have become a bewdaa... or u are lyeing ... i must have had not more then 4 :)

PS : old monk is awesome...

i was not in the mood to irritate him coz i feared i wud miss my bus to coimbatore and what if they decide to molest me.... i mean.. i had had a nice bath with moti sandle soap and garnier frutis shampoo in the morning... so ...i dreaded of gettting touched ( bull crap )

and the sad part is i had already swiped my card first and then later saw my bill :(


end of the day.... i was a big CHUTIYA ....pehle paisa diya....fir bill check kiya ....



so at the end if u have managed to read this blog so far ... congrats :)

hip hip burp :) hip hip burp :) hip hip burp :)
hip hip burp :) hip hip burp :)
hip hip burp :)
:)

PS : tasmac must go... hope karunanidhi and jayalalitha get marreid have kids, send their kids to a hindi medium school and get settled in patna :)


moral of the story : please check the bill before swiping the card specially in a Bar .

நன்றி




raKH05041982

evenflOw !!

sometimes life throws more shit that one can dodge.... so the best thing to do at that time is to enjoy it :)

there are times when u just want time to move faster.... theory of relativity sucked big time ....only that hairy scientists Einstein and a handful few understood it...and today a lot of others claim to have understood it.... i for that matter don't care ... theory of relativity is not for me... i never have actually tried understanding it.... i dont know if i will try that or not...

few months back...i was happy to be in chennai (i just cant believe how fucked up that feeling was )...wanted to stay here for a long time... and then bahot sara chutiya-giri ho gaya... i wanted to get out of the metro village asap. today is the last day in chennai....and i plan to make the most of it... go to the coffee stall....have that awesome Rs 4 heavenly coffee... coffee is tha best thing that has happend ...in chennai.... these guys make amazing coffee... maan-na padega.....and there are a few things... they can be proud of.... i dont want to mention them here...i can go on and on and on....

5 months of xprnc in chennai will teach anyone a lot of things.... on top of that if u are doing retail sales ... god help u.... u see a new job teaches ppl a lot of things they dont want to learn... or at times the things they have missed to learn...... sometimes things related to the job...sometimes things not related to job..this new job tought me many many things.... a few things that i can mention here are... i have learned the importance of washing cloths...and to master it...i have learned the importance of washing the whites and the dark colors seperately :P.... it has tought me... how to enjoy oldMONK without ice and chakhnaa.... how to ignore the things that are important to others... and how to SURVIVE ..... how not to get addicted to human beings... how to attend engagements of loved ones whom you loved once... and how to reach late when it doesnt matter if u are on time or not.... how to ride a bike and how not to do stunts with traffic hawaldaar on the road... how to sleep even when there is no electricity ....and how to LIVE life when life is tough...and sing.... mein jindagy ka saath neebhata chala gaya...har fiqra ko dhuwe mein oodata chala gaya....


I waana live... i wanna give... i have been a miner for the heart of gold..... its these expressions i never give...that keeps me searching for a heart of gold....and i am getting OLD.... and i am getting OLD...


now they say time is money and u can very easily prove that ...all u need to know is a lil bit of tamil and english... we are always running short of time..and always wanting to make more money....so if we are loosing time every second... we are only getting poorer each second... but we still are running in the rat race ...to only get richer...accha job mile... acchi item mile.... acchi setting ho... and so on...

the logic is simple....
time is called mani in tamil.... pretty strange... but it is called mani....and it sounds like moeny.... :P
so time = mani = money :|

now i am on my way to coimbatore.... fuckin hell... i am finnaly out of chennai... less than 24 hours to live in chennai... a lot of ppl here said.. coimbatore is better than chennai... to me it might not make much of a difference apart fromt he fact that the weather is much much better that chennai.... and the city is much smaller.....so it will be less tension wali baat...and closer to ooty and kodaikanal ...and also to kerla...


but i shall surely miss a few things in chennai... and miss them badly... made some really good friends here...but sala apun ko is jagah se emotionaly attcha nahi hone kaa hai... there are better things to be emotionally attched to in Navi Mumbai. so hope that the next destination is Navi Mumbai :)

there are many words in tamil that are funny for the ones who are from proper Bombay and the most funny of them in the word that's used to represente the numerical number 2. its official called rand. and officially it means something not god in mumbai :D.... lol .... RAND


thoughts arrive like butterflY .

plastic

i met this lady today... i mean i actually didnt meet her... i just happened to be in the same shop... i was selling pencils and other stationary :) ... she was there too buy stationary..

now who the fuck cares about plastic.. its got no emotions... its got know heart... it has not feelings... but that poor lil bastard has a life thats long.... i am talking about plastic. they say that this plastic can live so long that dude... who lived for a really long time in mahabharata .. what was his name...... bhishma peeta-mahan ...sale ko bhi sharam aayega...and there is another kinda plastic.... these days can be re-resurrected again and again... i mean ...its like killing and bringing it back to life... gosh.. killing it to bring it back to life...what a nice thought... its called recycling :)

so now this plastic is so awesome that it can be what it wants... the last i heard was these carry bags can be a nice hallucinating thing...u need to burn it... and then u get some residue... smoke it.... yuks... now ...who the heck will do all that mehnat... just to get high... no one i know...

so now coming back to the aunty .. she wants to buy pens... cheap ones... which her son can loose and she can still be kool about it..else she wud fucking freak out..and slap that innocent kid... so that he dont loose again... its a weird way of teaching things... thats what they used to do to slaves... to prisoners and to deshdrohi ppl....

fuck...drifting again...

coming back to aunty... aunty chooses from a plethora of Rs 5 pen...and to my luck...she fuckin buys both the pens of my company...and i am like... nysh nysh ( read nice like a child ).... aunty has made the right choice... unkal must be a happy man... unkal ki jai ho ...for keeping aunty happy and sane....

so i get lost in thought... i do that often... get lost in thoughts and keep wondering ... wondering about lost thoughts... and then come back to life... its nysh ... thing.. coming back to life...

and then the aunty leaves... and then as she is leaving the shop... she comes back...and says... anna!!.. oor carry bag koodengah :) ..translated back to inglees ( which is very soon going to be the national language... of modern india ) ...it will mean.. brother!! give me a carry bag. so there i was... i just went numb... i mean not completely.. but i can say... i went numb.. i was like... why is this nice aunty who made the perfect choice of buying the pens which i wanted her to by... asking for carry bags... ok!! ...now its a common thing...asking anything that u may get free .... is a really nice thing.... but she bought 2 pens..worth Rs 10... weighing less than 15 grams... and now she bloody wants a carry bag... fucking nuts...

first things is first... in total she made 2 mistake. .1st one is not hat harmful ... infact its not a mistake..i am just terming it as a mistake... its my mistake.. she called the shop-keeper annaa :P.. .ok.. .not funny....but funny enough to kill some time.... 2nd mistake is that she wants a carry bag for 2 pens weighing less than 15 grams in total :(

the shopkeeper must have got angry... ek to "anna" bola...ab phokat mein bag maang rahi hai... charana fookat mein aata hai kya.... he he :P ( maa chudi ;) .. . i miss this slang word .. one of the most common word in mumbai)

so this lady...aunty is now all happy..swings her plastic carry bag... and walks out of the shop jaise jhansi ki rani panipat ki ladhai jeet ke aayi ho....but i knew ... she has done her bit in polluting the earth.... my hippie mind wanted to stop her... but i cud not ... hippies are so peace loving.. that they wont fight and try to prove their point across... that is the sole reason why the hippie movement died...but not completely... ppl like me and druv are still fighting for a lost cost... we are modern hippies... we use plastic :D

moral of the story... fuck the moral...try and stop using plasic... plstic is harmful and its better if we use it as less as possible. someday hippies will return and hippies will rule.... till then eric cartman can keep hating hippies and that bloody jew kid who never geevs up...nor geevs in....

plastic is what we are becoming... loosing our emotions... loosing our heart.... loosing our feelings... loosing our senses... loosing it all... killing in the name of ..... blaming the innocent.. using more and more things we dont want... dont need ...can do without ....

this is out new walk of LIFE :)

( yeah..i am listening to the awesome dire-straits whos cd if u purchase will come in a plastic cover ... we are left with no choice... bloody maggots is what we are gonna be in the end )

PS : i do use plastic... a lot of it.. i am not doodh ka dhula hua... but i do have a choice. i choice to crib... nag... someday... ill stop others from using plastic... i am so far not able to stop myself from using plastic.

raKH05041982

change is not a must (".)

"How many roads have I wandered,

None and each my own,

behind me the bridges have crumbled,

no question of return...

Its the same song playing, everywhere I go,

its like an army marching right through me.

Nowhere to go but the horizon,

where then will I call my home?

Nowhere to go but the horizon,

where then will I call my home?

How many roads have I wandered,

None and each my own,

behind me the bridges have crumbled,

Where then will I call my home?"

the same song - susheela raman - music for crocodile

There was a time in mumbai that i didnt care a fuck... about hindi... i didnt miss it.. everyone around me spoke hindi... i didnt miss it... i didnt miss bollywood.. i didnt miss item numbers.. dukhi aatma songs, chhamiya songs ... now that i am in chennai... i miss it all... there is kollywood to replace bollywood but there is a difference.... u cant match those two things. Here in chennai.. i miss hindi so much that i listene to crappy hindi songs as if they are some anthem.... if i was in mumbai.. i wud never listen to them... like songs from the movie aaye milan ki raat... god...that song i heard... was LOL ...filled with lots of love for hero and heroin ... but i loved it...there are many more hindi songs i dig here... coz i miss them... i absolutely LOVE them.. life is full of experiences ... this is a nice experience. its a battleground.

a lot of ppl hate to change... change diapers [filled ones ;)] of their young ones.. change the cd in the car audio dech ... change the job... change the bathing soap... change the operating system ... change their toothpaste/toothbrush... change their kids.... or change their in-laws ... the in-laws want to change a lot of things... but ppl hate to change in general.. ppl also hate to change in public ( lol )... but in the case of wife/husband ... ppl wud love to have a change... but yeh kamini society ...yeh kambkath jamana woh sapna sach nahi hone deta... log kya kahenge... reeshteydaar kya kahenge...khandaan ki naak kat jaaayegi.... jeena haram ho jaayega... crap crap crap...

on the contrary there is this special kinda guys/girls who change a lot... every-time things start getting stale.... but these same ppl start ignoring change when they start showing signs of maturity during the decline of puberty..... more crap crap.... crap

now change is also something we need to carry in abundance.... else the BEST conductor gives u looks as if u are a murderer who has blood stains on ur face.... i hate the times when they say.. chutta nahi hai.... to bus mine kayko chadah ... and then there are times when they really dont have change and they say.. thodi der mein deta hoon and then u get lost in some thought that is so useless...that u forget to collect the change...not becouse u hate change...but u are lost in some thought.... who cares... u let go... but the irritating thing is when ..the condutor scribbles on the phacking ticket and asks u to collect change from the bus depot :D ... .i mean.. who the heck will go to collect Rs. 2 or or Rs . more than 2 to the depot... but then some do... they must be change loving ppl..very few.... of those in this world...

i like ppl who hate change... i dont hate change ( i am a big hypocrite :@ )... ppl in tamil nadu hate change... they have not changed since a long time... hope they dont change.. perseverance is the key... contains added falvor and class II preservatives ...we will not change ...we shall not allow change....they dont want to learn hindi... what a boon .... have heard ppl in kerla speak nice hindi.. ppl in AP and Karnataka speak hindi... now the point is... i have a problem here in chennai... i have to do sales.. i am learning TAMIL (only to speak and not read and write ).. so everytime i have a issues... i say.. Sir ..communication is a problem ...and then my boss cant do anything... its a nice excuse... now i have told them...its very difficult.. handling my team who are a nice bunch 0f ppl who dont know hindi.. those SR's are nice ppl .... they didnt learn hindi in school... and to make things worse for me.. i have to handle 6 distributors who cant speak hindi.... they can speak EngLeees ...so in this case... i dont have a excuse... but no matter if u both have a common language... handling ppl... handling human beings who have a brain is difficult. (i want a break ..i want to nagg ..i want to crib )

so its nice .. in tamilnadu u can crib... that communication is a big problem... and its VALID ....it wud not be valid in AP, Kerla and Karnataka and rest of INDIA speaks Hindi.

when i heard they are lounching TOI ( times of India ) in chennai...i was very excited... but then when the Np was actually launched...a complete let down.. .just another ppr with no page 3 content or lets just say the most fucked up page 3 i have ever seen ..... Chennai MIRROR is also missing so far....even the cartoon section is as dull... as it can be...who cares about the headlines and the national news... they suck big-time...

if ppl in tamilnadu didnt have a problem with change...they wud learn hindi... bury the dravidian moment under... and get along with life... but they do have a problem... they will not speak in hindi... even if they know... one of my distributors manager keeps telling me stories ..of politics, justice and tamil ppl ....and i just cant ask him to fuck off.... he is the key to one of my main markets....

chutta nahi hai (i dont have any change) .. is my fav line ... but what is this anyways... i am confused ... change ... change .... i dont want to change a few things.. but there are many things i want to change... but who am I... to change the things... i am not GOD... i am not even his best friend... i dont even know anyone who is god's best friend.....

PS : this feeling is nice... this feeling i can explain ...or may be I dont want to explain .

PS : gand mein danda :)

raKH05041982

:(

this is referring the previous post " sare janah se accha "

this is not funny... the idea of this post is ... yup this time there is a idea...or lets say there is a reason... and the reason is... one of my very good friends has fucked up bigtime while chatting and reading my blog ( i always knew my blog might have a side effect on innocent ppl ) juicy is not innocent... he was the partner in crime.. smoked ganja with us... smoked sutta with us... flunked in exams with us . . bunked lectures with us... played dehla coat (mendhi coat)with us.. spent precious years in engineering searching for Nirvana... attended many rock shows together...head banged... a avid fan of pearl jam and the one who always has a open invitation so that we can camp at his place and have a booz party.... Abhijit Trivedi (kiss ur frnds gud bye) is online. xtc : hey ass Abhijit : hiii how r yaa xtc : alive and bored...and fat Abhijit : kya hua bhai are aaja mumbai :) koi ladkii dhoondh nahi toh udhar ..... tp kaa liyaa ;) xtc : lol sab ke sab darawani hai :P jo bahoot acchi hai...sab ke item hai Abhijit : haan kalii chut are dhoondh naa orkut pee .. xtc : http://superchild.blogspot.com tu padha kya ? Sent at 9:36 PM on Monday ( juicy reads the blog and comes back ) Abhijit : kya baat hai xtc : ? ? Abhijit : bhai natinal anthem kii maa bhen kholdii tunaa lolies xtc : u fuck... :@ this is not the national anthem :X jan gana man is the national item anthem :X Sent at 9:42 PM on Monday (chat ends abruptly here...)

somebody please stop this nightmare....

this was bound to happen... india is loosing .... indians are loosing...

no matter what .... no matter what.... no matter what....

no matter what .... we need to always not forget what is our national anthem

what is 15th august and what is 26th january....

juicy (abhijit trivedi) ... get a life :@

:D

PS : xtc is the momentary name baBa is using on gtalk !

PS : i hope it was a mistake.

PS : we thank geetesh bhave for giving abhijit trivedy a nickname JUICY :)

raKH05041982

sare jahan se achha...

ppl ....my dear phrands...if u are here.... u shud be really lost...or u shud be my best phraand...

either ways .... it dont really matter.. what u are about to read is a nice song..which we did listen when we were young.... now that we are not young... but not really old... we ignore it...

they always play it on 15th august and 26th jan... i wonder why....


here it is.... a nice baBa's version of it..... hope u like it... hope u hate it too.... ( increasing the size of the hindi font for all those who have trouble reading hindi )
.
.
.
.
.
सारे जहाँ से अच्छा ..है मेरे neighbor का बच्चा
वोः चुलबुला है मेरा ... में गुलसितां हूँ उसका ।।

ऑफिस में हूँ अगर में ... रहता है वोह मेरे दिल में
समझो वही हमे भी ... जिगर का टुकडा है वोह हमारा

पार्वती को ना पता हे ... हमसाया शमा का
वोः संतान है हमारी ... वोः सपना है हमारा॥

सारे जहाँ से अच्छा ..है मेरे neighbor का बच्चा
वोः चुलबुला है मेरा ... में गुलसितां हूँ उसका॥

गोदी में खेलता है... उसकी हजोरों नत-खटिया
गुलशन भड़क जायेगा... भांडा जो अगर फूटा...... मुश्किल हो जायेगा जीना॥

क्या तुम्हे याद है वोह दिन ...
जहाँ शुरू हुआ उसका कारवां ....

यूनान - ओ -मिस्र - ओ -रोमा , सब मिट गए जहाँ से
अब तक मगर है बाकी , नम - ओ - निशान हमारा ॥

सारे जहाँ से अच्छा ..है मेरे neighbor का बच्चा
वोः चुलबुला है मेरा ... में गुलसितां हूँ उसका

मजहब नही सीखता ... मिल बांटके वोह खाता
हिंदू हूँ में... मुस्लिम है वोह ... बच्चा का कोई mistake नही उसमें ....

सारे जहाँ से अच्छा ..है मेरे neighbor का बच्चा
वोः चुलबुला है मेरा ... में गुलसितां हूँ उसका


ok... now all might like this..not all might understand this... but who the hell cares about everyone..

i am sure all will atleast murmur.. the first line... ;)

सारे जहाँ से अच्छा ..है मेरे neighbor का बच्चा
वोः चुलबुला है मेरा ... में गुलसितां हूँ उसका ।।



ho ho ho... "fuck..whats wrong with me... " ... peace! peace!! peace!!! ... a piece for all...

dont send jihadi ppl to get my ass.. its worthless.... nor the RSS or the nor the ISI nor the CBI ....


raKH05041982

life is a fruit-salad :)

before u read anything further... remember this.. this is coming out of personal experience (".)

when u get drunk... please dont brush ur teeth with shaving cream . . . its no fun....in fact just go to sleep... its OK if u dont brush ur teeth before bed.....

metrosexuals (mtsxl) .... i am not one of them...i think .. i think ... i think..i am a hippie... at least i was one till i didn’t take up this job....now the hippie looks are gone.... I am still letting the hippie live inside me… just in case I need him during the WWIII … now this is what happens in today’s world.... we all have jobs...we all get up in the morning... some have trouble downloading...some don’t... i for that matter have no worries at all.... I just have to sit on the commode ...and not do anything... the bowels just want to get hell out of me... as if they are suffocating inside..... thank you thank you...my smaller intestine....then we go to work....some take the car...some take public transport... some actaully work...or some pretend to work....some come straight back to home to their wife and kids... while some take the patlee galli and head to pubs, bars, lounges ...or wherever life takes them...some have a good day...some have bad day.....some care...some dont.... some are comfotably NUMB...some are comfortably DUMB...

Ok...this is not what this post is about..

Coming to the original idea of the post….he he…there is no idea…

so there is this imaginary dude human being...no no.... he is not doing his MBA... for heavens sake... not all are fools... I don’t know if he is a metrosexuals (mtsxl)….

so he gets up in the morning... brushes his teeth ....the flavor is strawberry... yup ..he still likes to use the toothpaste... which he used when he was a kid....rinses his mouth....( i want to try that toothpaste... all my life i have used that white and red "khol-gate" ... white paste.. yeah.. u are right....i do have cavities...unlike what the adv promises.... and that mofo suraksha chakra.... and that ting noise .... is nothing compared to the drilling noise of the dentists drills....dentists... u ppl are life-savers )

so now...after brushing his teeth.... dude is late....so heads straight under the shower.... so... nunga-punga bath chalu... raat ko aamla ka tel se chumpi kiya hai ( wah-tikka tel. . .reminds me of lovely mandira bedi… extraaa shots :P ) ….to sabse pehle fructis ( I am sure this shampoo can be used as a nice topping cream in most of the European dishes )_ ...man this shampoo is nice... try it... smells like a lot of fruits are crushed in it.... then saboon lagane ke bari... saboon is also fruit flavored ...one of those Chinese soaps with apple flavor ( lol chinese soaps...they are gonna take over....and amreeka is gonna feed them )…. Nahake ho gaya….shave karne ki baari ( its one of the most irritating activity for hippies… but thank god…he only gave us the brains to shave of dadhi… )… shaving cream lemon flavoured + aloe vera ( they say this aloe vera thing is miraculous )…. Aftershave is bloody pomegranate flavored + with added menthol … combs his hair… styling gel…coconut flavored…. (rotflol coconut )

lol…. He is turning into a fruit salad ….( sala i actually made that word rangeela... ha ha ha....i have so much free time.. and no money in the pocket to go have a beer.... )

Now time to put of some deodorant… again fruit flavored… watermelon :P

All dressed up…. Drinks milk… has some jelly… he loves jelly… almost close to being a complete fruit salad… ( who the hell invented the fruit salad ? .. .must be an accident.. .where the wife has got angry and gone to maikaaa ... and the hubby ...pooor hubby has to cook for himself )

God damn it…. Brain super heating…. Fuck fuck fuck…. Fruit-salad…. I miss it….I WANT FRUIT SALAD

All those vitamins ….. all those fibers….. all those …

Just fuck it… I am going to FETCH some food…. Living in dog years ;)

PS : “to life..”…. It rained in MUMBAI today… thanks to u... life… I missed it…though I had a nice sunbath here in Chennai… sunscreens don’t work here…

raKH05041982

mixed emotions

PS : i make my own mistakes. some times i take help from friends and foes.
many a times i get so lost..that i dont figure out anything. things just keep confusing me more and more...a chemical locha happens in the brain. and the best thing to do it shut it down. flush things down the drain and just not think at all. its a hard thing to do. but its not impossible.

there are many things in life that we dont want to happen...but they do happen... the last time chennai was more nice...i was small...all i knew in chennai was the street where we used to live... my school and marina beach and anna tower...back in those days...say 15 years back there were not many tall buildings in chennai... no telcom towers... anna tower was one of the tallest building in chennai u cud have a phackin amazin view of chennai..... god damn it...then it was called madrass... ( i wonder why these polititions keep changing names of the city... bombay was much better... it sounded western...mumbai sounds a lot more ghati :P ... mumbai sukhoobai :( ...)

this time i am in chennai...i know jarurat se jyada places ... few more months and i can become a guide in central chennai and western chennai... have to roam the whole day... in the bloody hot sun... with paseena tapkofying from whole body... i can easily do with a diaper ...to save the paseena from irritating the ....

its nice to interact with the local vendors who only speak tamil. wannakam sir... eppedi irke sales.. is my fav line.....

sometimes i love that i am in chennai...and i am lucky i am avoidin the tough life in mumbai... but the next day i am bound to get bum-fucked in the head. i miss mumbai. i hate a lot of me...for being in chennai. so everytime i get a feeling that i am happy to be in chennai...i am pretty sure that next day i am going to be...like i said.. bum-fucked in the head. the pattern is getting very very common.

chennai is small... its slow... for a person who has lived in mumbai...this is a dead slow pace...lucky for me..i can get up by 9 30 and still be on time to work...or even if i am late ..i dont have to answer any one... sales line is fun...but a loaded gun...and the gun is in bosses hand.. targets achieved ...the gun inctive....if targets go for a toss... the gun blows under ya ass.

and then there are times when i finish work by 3 pm...fir wapis dimmag ki maa behan ek ho jaati hai... baki ka poora din kya karna....a phrand of mine...i call him apple singh told me a nice tip... in the summer when u shud be working on the field ...doing sales... go to sathyam cinemas and watch a afternoon show.. i tried that and its real fun..


its useless ...it dont make sense...but at times a lof of things are not suppoes to make sense... there are things that need to be left incomplte in life ...so that u can always think about them...its a nice past-time to think about them....everything that is in place and in order can make things really boring and mundane....

also when a everythign in life is going right... i am sure that there is some big fuck up happening somewhere ...which i am not able to notice ... thats what happened... everything was going the way i wanted to go...but i failed to notice the fuck up... now its all messed up....but i am gonna leave it behind un-attended ...i am not gonna solve this fuck up... its supposed to be left incomplete so that i can wonder about it....and this can be my fav past-time...

memories are the riches of a wise man....

song for the day is mother- pinkFLOYD

Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Ooh ah,Mother, should I build the wall?
Mother, should I run for presidence?
Mother, should I trust the government?
Mama, will they put me in the firing line?
Ooh ah,Is it just a waste of time
Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry.
Mamma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true,
Mamma's gonna put all of her fears into you,
Mamma's gonna keep you right here, under her wing.
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing,
Mamma's gonna keep baby cosy and warm.
Oooh babe, Oooh babe, Oooh babe,
Of course Mamma's gonna help build the wall.
Mama, do you think she's good enough, for me?
Mama, do you think she's dangerous, to me?
Mama, will she tear your little boy apart?
Ooh ah,Mother, will she break my heart?
Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry.
Mamma's going to check out all your girlfriends for you,
Mamma won't let anyone dirty get through,
Mamma's gonna wait up until you get in.
Mamma will always find out where you've been,
Mamma's gonna keep baby healthy and clean.
Oooh babe, Oooh babe, Oooh babe,You'll always be baby to me.
Mother, did it need to be so high?

raKH05041982

nostalgia

nostalgia ...a funny word to many of us....we cant turn back time.... we cant bend time.... we cant do a thing about time... v cant even fast forward ...we cant even want/ask/force time to move fast....coz its only gonna take us close to death .... death must b such a wonderful thing that everything in life experiences it.....

today was a gr8 day.... did a many thing.... interacted nicely with the bozz and he said a few complicated things and commented at me... most of it with hidden meanings and taunts....

who the hell ... i think i am... i am baBa when i am not working other times i am highly human and vulnerable... thoda baten suni...thoda ignore kiya...fir targets ke peechhey bhaagne shuru kiya... paisa nachaye...nachaye.... nachaye..... paisa bhagaye....bhagaye... bhagaye....


and then at the end of the day ...came back home tired... then decided to head to the panjabi dhaba on the road to manali.... god she looked beautiful.... we were her silent admireres in 8th grade and 9th grade... drifting...

getting back...there is a place called manali in tamil nadu also...but the one in HP kicks ass ...

on our way to the dabha to madhvaram....there is motherfucking traffic that beats the hell out of us... so close to anna nagar...rather at the end of anna nagar we see this kool mofo sitting in his HONDA shitty band new city car.... nice car !!.... ( for those who dont know whats anna nagar is...anna nagar is one of the most awesome places in chennai ..its got nice bunglows and big roads and lots of ppl who eat bread...so u are sure to find good fresh brittania bread in anna nagar and descently high number of hindi speaking fellas)

so we fool around with that dude...why dont u exchage the car with this bike...we might show around and impress few chicks....and shit like thats...obviously he cant here us...he has locked himself in the car with AC and music )...so when the signal turns green....he accelerates and zaps... so we catch up with his car.... and there...there is a big noise ...a chutiya biker comes and bangs into that awesome brand new HONDA shitty car

and i am like.... maa chudi..... the biker is taking a wrong right turn... not the gadi walas fault... he is driving straight not rash ... bike wala shud have let him pass.... but now he is flying like those guys from WWF ( now WWE) ...he is wearing his helmate ...but still....he falls flat... he doesnt move after falling ....we pull over by the kerb...not knowing what to do....and even if we knew what to do... why shud we get involved...we dont have time...no energy..no interest in that ( awesome indian attitude) .... so this car wala dude has no idea what has actually happened and he gets out of the phacking car as if he is a maharaja....all he knows is someone bumped into his car and that he can now shout at the person for infecting his car with scratches.... but then when he sees tha biker on the road...deadlike.... gand phatying...starts running... we are by now...fuck...lets get the hek out of here... its useless ...we dont have the papers of our own bike no insurance and crap.... no NOC ...the bike is a MH regiserd and not TN

getting out...we must have silently and unknowingly preyed for that dude to be all right....
on our way to the dhaba...discusion id on existence of GOD :

so when we hit the dabha... its shady... ita dark... not clean... and exactly the way dhaba should be...
so we decide that we have food there... the water actually scared the shit out..it had the most wiered taste and a nice yellow color ...so accepted apni and phat-phati ho gayi ....we bought bottles min-water :P.... kabhi kabhi firang key tarah jeene mein majja hi kuch neerala hai....

ok...back at the dhaba...there is this rajasthani fam.. with thier skinny wives and phat hubbys...with a bunch of kids...they finish food and we get place to eat... everythign is fine so far....

and this is where nostalgia strikes me and mangesh ( dude who is from my state and buddy next door )
we order for 1)falli ka sabjee 2) dal 3) rayta 4) dahi....how did we decide on the menu...simple...that was the only menu of the day....

and then we are joined by few truckwallahs....surds juts....few himachalis ...and man...they have foul mouth...

they start utter ring words like bhenchode... maadarchode... maa ki chutt ... and many few dutty words :) (in chennai the only hindi abuse i have heard so far coming out of their mouth is "loude ka baal" a.k.a mayeer in tamil :P and the way they say it is also damn hillarious... southy anna accent) may be ppl from the north cant do without these few abuses ...which are inbuild....and they keep coming out no matter what they do...specially these truckwallahs have these awesome way of abusing.... so they are all talking in HINDI and abusing in Hindi... jo sun ne ko majaa aaya....life set ho gaya....

then we interact with this sardarjee who is a superfast whisky drinker... had driven all the way from agra... he shares a few stories and leaves as satisfied as a


by then we had started having gr8 time ..the food was amazin...tasty....super tasty...+ it was like i was eating roti after 20 days....and it sure was a blessing ...and 2nd best part is... 15 Rs a plate of sabjee or dal or rayta or dahi :P and nice garam garam rotis for 3 Rs ... dil-khush....sath mein lot of sardars opening a chotu bottle of whisky and drining it with two large patiyala pegs.... sure those guys are strong...


had awesome food..till we cudnt sit properly on those khatiyas.. by the time we had food...it was close to midnight...and the dhaba almost mpty.... so we lied on those same khatiyas and had a feeling tha a cow has... content :)


and the dude who was earlier making rotis comes out smoking a beede and asks... aaj raat idhar hi sone ka man kar rhaa hai kya... and i am like... agar aap bolo to hum chalte hai...and he is like..nahi nahi saab jee... aaram karon.... koi baat nahi hai.. ( god damn it....hindi sunke kitna aachha laga.... )

then he shares his beedee with us ... and we are like... dhanyawaad...bada acchha laga khana khake and hindi mien baante karke...... ab hum chal dete hai....


food, hindi , slang, beedee.... all i missed was a few things i dont want to mention here...after all this is a god damn blog... not a diary :P

wont mind going all the way to eat food out there... its only 15 kms away from the city....

there is HOPE and i have FAITH.... (both tattooed on me too)

raKH05041982