mixed emotions

PS : i make my own mistakes. some times i take help from friends and foes.
many a times i get so lost..that i dont figure out anything. things just keep confusing me more and more...a chemical locha happens in the brain. and the best thing to do it shut it down. flush things down the drain and just not think at all. its a hard thing to do. but its not impossible.

there are many things in life that we dont want to happen...but they do happen... the last time chennai was more nice...i was small...all i knew in chennai was the street where we used to live... my school and marina beach and anna tower...back in those days...say 15 years back there were not many tall buildings in chennai... no telcom towers... anna tower was one of the tallest building in chennai u cud have a phackin amazin view of chennai..... god damn it...then it was called madrass... ( i wonder why these polititions keep changing names of the city... bombay was much better... it sounded western...mumbai sounds a lot more ghati :P ... mumbai sukhoobai :( ...)

this time i am in chennai...i know jarurat se jyada places ... few more months and i can become a guide in central chennai and western chennai... have to roam the whole day... in the bloody hot sun... with paseena tapkofying from whole body... i can easily do with a diaper ...to save the paseena from irritating the ....

its nice to interact with the local vendors who only speak tamil. wannakam sir... eppedi irke sales.. is my fav line.....

sometimes i love that i am in chennai...and i am lucky i am avoidin the tough life in mumbai... but the next day i am bound to get bum-fucked in the head. i miss mumbai. i hate a lot of me...for being in chennai. so everytime i get a feeling that i am happy to be in chennai...i am pretty sure that next day i am going to be...like i said.. bum-fucked in the head. the pattern is getting very very common.

chennai is small... its slow... for a person who has lived in mumbai...this is a dead slow pace...lucky for me..i can get up by 9 30 and still be on time to work...or even if i am late ..i dont have to answer any one... sales line is fun...but a loaded gun...and the gun is in bosses hand.. targets achieved ...the gun inctive....if targets go for a toss... the gun blows under ya ass.

and then there are times when i finish work by 3 pm...fir wapis dimmag ki maa behan ek ho jaati hai... baki ka poora din kya karna....a phrand of mine...i call him apple singh told me a nice tip... in the summer when u shud be working on the field ...doing sales... go to sathyam cinemas and watch a afternoon show.. i tried that and its real fun..


its useless ...it dont make sense...but at times a lof of things are not suppoes to make sense... there are things that need to be left incomplte in life ...so that u can always think about them...its a nice past-time to think about them....everything that is in place and in order can make things really boring and mundane....

also when a everythign in life is going right... i am sure that there is some big fuck up happening somewhere ...which i am not able to notice ... thats what happened... everything was going the way i wanted to go...but i failed to notice the fuck up... now its all messed up....but i am gonna leave it behind un-attended ...i am not gonna solve this fuck up... its supposed to be left incomplete so that i can wonder about it....and this can be my fav past-time...

memories are the riches of a wise man....

song for the day is mother- pinkFLOYD

Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Ooh ah,Mother, should I build the wall?
Mother, should I run for presidence?
Mother, should I trust the government?
Mama, will they put me in the firing line?
Ooh ah,Is it just a waste of time
Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry.
Mamma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true,
Mamma's gonna put all of her fears into you,
Mamma's gonna keep you right here, under her wing.
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing,
Mamma's gonna keep baby cosy and warm.
Oooh babe, Oooh babe, Oooh babe,
Of course Mamma's gonna help build the wall.
Mama, do you think she's good enough, for me?
Mama, do you think she's dangerous, to me?
Mama, will she tear your little boy apart?
Ooh ah,Mother, will she break my heart?
Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry.
Mamma's going to check out all your girlfriends for you,
Mamma won't let anyone dirty get through,
Mamma's gonna wait up until you get in.
Mamma will always find out where you've been,
Mamma's gonna keep baby healthy and clean.
Oooh babe, Oooh babe, Oooh babe,You'll always be baby to me.
Mother, did it need to be so high?

raKH05041982